Why, Barbara?

 I could never figure out why old people wanted to go back north when there was still so much fun to be had in Tucson. "Why go? Don't go," I would say, "Stay with us."

There was no way I could change their minds. My friend Carole would plead with them, and yet there it was...that empty spot where they lived in our hearts. "What was that need?" I thought. But it remained...they were Snow Birds that had flown south to escape reality, and they needed to go north to stay. 

I was never young, it seemed. That flight of fancy that teenager had was never mine. I was born seeing what could happen when you took big chances. I never felt omnipotent. I knew that young people could be wounded too.

Retirement was a dream come true. We were educators and always in the public eye. To be invisible seemed like a wonderful way to live our lives. My husband and I followed the dream. We became snowbirds and lived in Arizona for half the year. I, for one, could have my teen years back and behave badly. It was fun.

Then my husband died. The following year, I traveled to India for my granddaughter's high school graduation. I continued to go south for 3 years. I found a group of like-minded people at the University of Arizona's Osher Lifelong Learning Institute. I wrote and read wonderful books and simply became a part of the OLLI group.

Actually, my life was perfect! 

Then one day, the call of my Oregon home and family told me it was time to go back permanently. No more migrating south for me. I began to understand what geese knew from the beginning. There is a season for all things.

My Tucson AZ. home on the golf course

Living longer and longer is the fact that those of us who are younger face. We don't plan on dying soon.

Theater Performance

Livingroom

I had my youth, a working life, and then retirement. Now there is a fourth part to my life. The fourth stage sees me beginning all over again back where we started. I have come full circle.

Kitchen

But what do you do with the life you have lived for half of each year...the house, collections, and friends?

Outdoor evening eating spot.

Facing reality is not as easy as it sounds. I had collected things for all of those years, and they had always stayed in Arizona. Twenty-six years of memories to be bundled up and moved or simply left behind.

Well, of course I did all of those things...sold, bundled, and abandoned. The material things are gone. Now I have memories and pictures.

The truth is that home is home when you are someone like me. I was born and raised in Oregon. I love this place, and it seems that no matter where I go, I am always looking for something just like it. Now I understand why old people want to go home. Like migrating birds, we need to return. 

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