Are You In My Way?

My husband and I were downtown here in Portland. We were having breakfast in a restaurant called Tasty and Taylor...located, you guessed it, on Taylor. I was facing the restaurant full of people. My husband was facing the window. He loves watching the world go by.

That particular corner is busy with pedestrians. The homeless, people with babies or dogs in strollers, upscale tourist walking, bicyclists and runners.

To set the scene you need to know that free orange bikes are parked everywhere and there is the occasional motor scooter. I think those might be free to those who want a quick ride too.

The streets even have a big green stripe down the middle in some places to accommodate all of those vehicles.

On this particular day someone had parked an electric scooter near a lamp post over just across the street from our restaurant.

Got the picture?

So I will give you one guess as to who intentionally knocked the scooter over...the homeless, people with babies or dogs in strollers, upscale tourist walking, bicyclists or the runners.

It was the woman with the stroller and a baby on board.

I guess it was in her way. It seems being in the way is a big problem these days. We need t-shirts...don't get in my way...they should say.

We have traveled around the world and in those cultures where women are less valued, I might get pushed into the street if I don't get out of the way. Women are in the way a lot in those places.

In San Miguel Allende, MX any one facing the traffic is expected to step out into the street because the walkways are only one person wide. If you don't, I discovered, you will be bumped into or pushed aside.

I am seeing all of that here in the USA. In fact, being in the way is a sign of the times.

What do you think?

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What do you call people that live together? Erasing "Married" from the English Lanquage

My husband and I after 50 years of MARRIAGE!

I do try to keep up with the times!  In fact, I think that you will find that the older people get the harder they try to stay in touch with what is trendy.  But sometimes there is no hiding our age.  Here is what is happening to me.

My husband and I moved from a beautiful lofty condo with spectacular views born of youthful dreams.  We loved that home for the 10 years we lived there.  This last winter I woke with the thought that we needed to find a home we could enjoy now but would still carry us into our senior years...whenever that is. We put our condo on the market, sold it at the asking price and found a beautiful home in a 50+ community.  You would think that we could let ourselves act a "little" old in this setting.  But no!!!

The stumbling block seems to be my habit is assuming that if you live together, have a family together and love each other you might by some remote chance be married.  Not that I give a rip if you are married or not.  I just am in the habit of assuming that you might be.  So I ask!  

The children and grandchildren of acquaintance have babies and I will ask about the spouse or say "Oh I didn't realize your daughter/granddaughter/friend's daughter was married."  Someone will lean in close and remind me that babies are born all the time without people being married!  Darn!  I really do need to quit doing that.  

But the final straw is my mistake of addressing the person sitting next to an older woman as though the two belonged together...I will say, "and apparently this is your husband."  NOOOOOO...that is not the husband. That is a friend!  They live together, travel and heaven only knows what else together but they are not married.  Phooey!  I feel so foolish for even opening my mouth.

So here is the deal...what do you call that person that shares your life,and babies?  What are you to each other if not a bonded couple "married????" in an informal way ?  If your husband dies and you find someone to share your life with but choose not to marry for financial or legal reasons, what is your relationship. Either we need to redefine "marriage" or find a title for that other person.  

I really do need help now!  The definition of marriage is changing so fast that I can't keep up.  Now I even need help with the word I will use to describe the relationship between my married gay friends.  I may not be allowed to go out in public before very long if I keep acting my age! 

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