Retirement: An Expat's View of Condé Nast Traveler 2013 #1 City, San Miquel de Allende, Mexico

Have you heard of San Miquel Allende in  Mexico. According to Conde Nast Travelers, it is one of the best cities in the world to visit or even retire too. Here is an article written by John Scherber, an expat living in San Miquel. He has given me permission to republish his article. 

MORE REASONS TO 

RETIRE TO SAN MIGUEL

             Condé Nast Traveler recently named San Miguel de Allende, México, the winner of this year’s reader poll to select the world’s best city to live in. (CNN Travel: The World Best City Is...) Last year the winner was Charleston, S. C., and this year Paris came in at #22. Impressive, and perhaps a bit surprising, considering the competition, but it does suggest San Miguel has some impressive things to offer.

While the piece doesn’t volunteer to share the reasons for its readers’ rankings, it’s easy to guess what some of them might be: a prodigious and historic colonial charm, moderate and sunny climate, low cost of living, relative absence of dense traffic, great cultural resources, low crime rate, and overall superior quality of life.

San Miguel de Allende: A Place in the Heart
written by John Scherber

In short, the usual suspects when people start to think about where they might head next after deserting Newark or Detroit. I’m not going to argue with it, since I’ve lived in San Miguel myself for the past six years, and while I do occasionally long for Paris or Florence, those yearnings haven’t prompted me to put my house on the market.

One effect the Condé Nast piece did have on me was to make me think about some reasons for this popularity that I knew were almost certainly not on that undisclosed list.

Number one would be Cultural Differences. This town does not possess the smooth social fabric of central Iowa, and while it is small enough at 75,000 so that many people know each other, and even more look familiar, it is not a melting pot where everyone is merging into a seamlessly blended culture. The Méxican community and the expat community, largely U.S. and Canadian, struggle a bit to understand each other’s values and way of life. It is difficult to mistake members of one community for those of the other. In short, we know who we are. Because it is a dynamic system, we must work a little, and sometimes more than a little, to understand each other. If this keeps us slightly off balance, that’s a good thing. It makes for good muscle tone and mental agility as we get older. Which brings us to the second point.

Number Two would be Respect for Elders. San Miguel, and the rest of México, is not a place where cutting edge equates to this morning’s newest trend. The calendar operates in fits and starts, and as a result, it is still 1950 in many areas here. I spent part of the past week in Zacatecas, where I decided it was just about coming up on 1973. We are not rushing here to overtake the latest fad, so if you are not extremely young, you still have a chance of being at least somewhat current, since the values of those around you are not so fluid as to make yours seem irrelevant and old fashioned. We are more connected over the generations, and it feels good. Even people of advanced age are not segregated, and most families consist of very young children, parents, grandparents and great grandparents all spending time together to their mutual benefit.

Older people are in general regarded as retaining the wisdom of their experience, and therefore deserving of respect. In a hierarchical society, age is an underpinning of the consistency of values, and a source of continuity in attitude.

For number three, I would suggest what I call The Carnival of Color. While some businesses have branches and satellites, this is not in general a country hospitable to franchises. As a result, you are likely to see behind the counter of your bakery or cleaners the man or woman whose idea it was to start that business, a person who recognizes you and maintains his or her standard of product or service as a matter of pride, since commerce is personal. I can think of many restaurants where the owner greets you at the door and passes your table as you’re eating.

While there are government-planned housing tracts (infonavits) in most large towns that have a cookie-cutter feel, generally the housing is distinct and individual, using a wide variety of colors and materials. The streets do not exhibit chains of strip malls, and the architecture is not inhuman and fortress-like. We do not like to be mistaken for each other, and hospitality is an established part of public behavior. The need for uniqueness each of us feels is unquestioned. Exuberance is valued over reticence in design. It’s OK to reproduce the Virgin of Guadalupe on the hood of your 1993 Dodge. Shades of beige, however, are not easily distinguished this far south of the border.

Number Four I will call the Méxican Dynamic. For expats, it is impossible not to compare this country with the one we left, if only to reassure ourselves that we have given up easy access to chocolate chips and kosher dills for sufficient reason.

This country, while older than the U.S., is still on an upward curve in its economic development. The middle class is growing here, even as the middle class in the U.S. is shrinking. México is still creating jobs, since it dodged the worst effects of the current recession in the U.S. While not a democracy in any true sense, its political life has been dominated by one party for most of the last century. While this has led to corruption and favoritism, more importantly, it has not convulsed the country in rancor and deadlock. Oddly, things can still be accomplished here at the government level. People in this country do not take politics so seriously. There is a healthy cynicism about what happens in México City that Americans could examine more closely, since Méxicans are not as easily fooled by the rant of political parties on either side. The country functions more like Italy, where the government is simply not regarded as a serious player in the fabric of national life, and its periodic fall is often appropriately greeted by a yawn.

Lastly comes number five, and my personal favorite. On an individual level, it’s the most important. San Miguel, and indeed México as a whole, is a place where expats can come down and reinvent themselves. Perhaps that’s because they are obviously not part of the mainstream culture, and some (but not all) of the rules don’t apply. This is an underlying theme I have written about before and will again. Moving here is a Release into Freedom at any age. It is a place with reduced or even absent expectations of what you might do or how you’ll behave. If you were a nun in your working life north of the border, you can be naughty down here without apologizing or blushing. If you were a plumber in Peoria, you can now be a photographer, a painter of portraits, or a poet. You can do nothing or everything. You can justify your prior life or simply forget it. The sidewalk outside your door is labeled, in a script only you can see, Step One. Above all, you can pull things from the subterranean layers of your mind, and as they emerge into daylight for the first time, you will need to apologize or explain to no one.

This is the charm of San Miguel, and all of México.

Please visit my website at:

www.sanmiguelallendebooks.com

Guest author, John Scherber is the author of San Miguel de Allende: A Place in the Heart. The book tells about the people that have chosen San Miguel for their retirement home. Scheber invites you to "Live their experiences as 32 people confess why they left the United States and reveal how their new life is more fulfilling than they ever dreamed." He has lived in San Miguel for more than 6 years.

Hollywood: How do we "picture" aging? by Karen Austin

Guest Blogger Bio: Karen D. Austin is a gerontologist who spend her time as an adjunct, blogger, and volunteer with older adults in a variety of venues. She lives in Wichita, Kansas with her husband and two children. Her approach to aging is part science, part performance art. She blogs at The Generation above Me. Follow her on Twitter @TheGenAboveMe

About five years ago, I started to maintain a list of films that feature people from late midlife on.  I was still teaching college English at the time and well versed in the concerns of those 18 to 25. I spent three decades supporting the intellectual development of young adults. Sometimes I offered them a little emotional support, too. 

I am interested in human growth and development, but because I spent so much time in a university setting with undergraduates, I was woefully inattentive about life challenges and opportunities for those 50 plus.

Watching these films peaked my curiosity.  I won’t claim that watching movies was the only catalyst for my career change. However, five years and 100 films later, I have quit teaching college English. I recently finished a master’s in Aging Studies. And I’m preparing to teach a class about films that depict aging issues.  My students will be both traditional and nontraditional, providing for multiple perspectives.

Now it seems that Hollywood is making films that star seasoned actors faster than I can view them.  Or is this just because I’m hyperaware? 

I remember when I bought a VW, it seemed everyone had a VW. When I was pregnant, the number of pregnant women crossing my path seemed to grow exponentially. And now that I’m interested in active aging, it seems there is more information about managing the aging process than I can consume.

The more I observe the aging process, the more I discover its complexities.  People in their 60s, 70s, 80s, and beyond are a diverse group. I can see this complexity in the films I’m watching, even though they at times exaggerate the human experience.  But such exaggerations make it easier to see things that real life might obscure through subtlety.

These themes have emerged: films about sex and love, films about managing male power, films about artists, films about athletes, films about family drama, films about generational conflict, films about road trips, films about communal living, films about meeting the challenges of illness, films about how to cope with loss. In other words, films featuring an infinite number of life experiences.  

By taking a closer look at aging through films, I found that people in midlife and late life do pretty much the same things that young adults do. Love, laugh, live.  Earn, yearn, spurn.  Each age group just strives for the same things—self-expression, intimacy, creativity, self-determination, community, etc.--with their own spin.  

Here is a short list of films that I found that taught me that the concerns of people 50 plus defy the stereotype that people in the second half of life are boring, inflexible, and stagnant. Not true. Like all people, midlife adults and older adults are interesting, dynamic and developing.  

• Age of Champions (2001). This documentary profiles a handful of athletes as they prepare for and compete at The National Senior Games.
• Boynton Beach Club (2005). This film mixes comedy and drama as it shows six older singles adjusting to single life and the dating scene after decades of marriage. 
• Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2011).  A master sushi chef is still perfecting his craft and mentoring others at age 85.
• On a Clear Day (2005). When the lead character is laid off at midlife, he must find a new purpose. His friends, wife and son all respond differently to his decision to take up long-distance swimming.
• Quartet (2012). Having a long-history sharing work lives and social lives makes living in the same retirement community more complex than living in a college dorm, but it also makes life more rich.
• Trouble with the Curve (2012). Despite having to manage age-related challenges, an experienced baseball scout shows that he still maintains a lot of skill and strength when co-workers challenge him.

Interested in more titles? See a bigger list that I maintain and update regularly. Recommend a film in the comments below.

Other guest post written for various blog by Karen Austin can be found here.

Duct Tape to the Rescue

Survive Your Husband's Retirement

      The first time I realized that my husband’s retirement was going to prove challenging for me was the day he told me how to load the washing machine.

      He was a good husband, but over the forty plus years we had been married, it’s probably safe to guess that he hadn’t done more than forty––possibly fifty––loads of wash. This made me wonder what made him an expert on the proper way to load a pile of smelly clothes so the washing machine didn’t make funny noises in the spin cycle.

      At one point in his career he had served as the Director of Operations for a manufacturing company, but I didn’t think it qualified him to direct washing machine operations. Proper use of a home washing machine takes experience, and I had more of that than I cared to remember––my kids were allergic to disposal diapers.

      After wondering about “hubby’s” audacity in attempting to instruct me on the rudiments of daily clothes washing, I remembered the comment of a high school classmate. He told me that his retirement went  smoothly as long as he remembered to duct tape his mouth. Now I understood!

      When a husband retires, the opportunity to give instructions (or orders) to others goes the way of the paycheck, and he needs to find something to do with all the his acquired knowledge. Often he shares it with his wife, whether she wants it or not. I think my classmate offered the perfect solution if a husband’s desire to share his wisdom becomes oppressive. Surely, a dose or two of duct tape on a slightly bearded face would get the message across! Duct tape even comes in colors––pink, red, white, several blues, yellow...and can be special ordered with a college insignia.

      Since my husband retired, I’ve been studying the changes that occur in marriage when a husband retires. My purpose was first to understand why our relationship changed so dramatically in this stage of life. Then, having accumulated interesting information, I realized that my research might provide a life line to sanity for other women with retired husbands. Duct Tape is one of the more outlandish solutions I’ve come across, but take heart women with retired husbands, life will get better once he learns the ropes of retirement.

PS: When I googled to check color choices for this famous tape, I learned that you could make roses with duct tape.  If you’re looking for something to calm your nerves or for something to do around the house that he may not choose to supervise this could be an answer.

Guest Blogger: Nora Hall is a writer with a retired husband, and that’s why she wrote the book, Survive Your Husbands Retirement. The book will be published later this month. For more information see www.surviveyourhusbandsretirement.com

Book Review: Scafell by Mathew Pink

Scafell

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to read something a well known mystery writer had written before they became successful. What did that first book, perhaps rejected by the publisher and unpolished by a very good editor, read like? Was it still compelling enough to keep the reader interest and involved? I think I may have just had that experience and I was surprised by the experience.

Matthew Pink was the guest author on my blog this last week and his bio contained a link to his recently published book, Scafell. It is Pink's first novel. I didn't expect much because I am not having good luck with the new fiction coming out right now. But in this particular case I was very wrong.

English: One of the Three Tarns With Sca Fell and Scafell Pike as a backdrop (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Review:
Stephen "Sparky" Markham was a detective in London where he worked close to the line between legal and illegal. He drank a great deal and was at the wheel drunk when he wrecked his car killing his sister and nephew. The police investigation into the accident covered up his guilt. They also pushed for his resignation and made him enlistment in the army where he was sent to Afghanistan. I suppose it was thought he would pay for his guilt while in service of his country. After his release from the military he moved to the Lake District in the UK to live in his grandfathers home. The story started out to be about his time there and how he dealt with his grief and guilt. Then there was an old man, two wandering dogs and a shapeless bag at the edge of a lake. The tale took on a whole new meaning.

The opening page had me hooked. I loved the way he used words:

I read once that, in the movies, they have a name for the first shot which appears on the screen unbuttressed by opening titles or narration or such like.  This shot appears just - bam - as if someone clapped or blinked or clicked some magic fingers.  And there it is.

They call it the "Cold Open."

My favourite version of a cold open throws wide a rainy location framing a landscape foreign to me in a world I do not yet know.

Every time I open the heavy back door of my cottage in the mornings I am reminded of this kind of shot.  

The strength of this book lies not only in the twists and turns of the tale but also in the authors ability to set the stage for what is to come. I thought the "cold open" was a perfect introduction to a part of the UK noted for its fall rain and more rain.  It also seemed to fore-shadow the story based on the cold realities of evil.

Murder and intrigue are nothing new to the mystery genre but how the author puts it all together can keep the reader involved until the last word on the page. The story line in Scafell is reminiscent of Stieg Larson's books about the postitute trade in Europe and a little bit Micky Spillane was thrown in just for fun.  I thought the book had some quirky flaws but in the end I found it very charming. I even wondered whether the quirkiness was by design.

So, in the end I did think the story this new author told was wonderful.  I would recommend it!

In his bio, Pink says this is only the beginning of the "Sparky Markham" series. After reading the first book,  I certainly hope so because I want to know what happens next.

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Travel: The Best Places to Relax in The UK’s Peak District

A neatly kept mini-patchwork quilt of lush valleys, velvet meadows, characterful Victorian market towns and gloriously open moorland, the UK’s Peak District sits plumb in the middle of the country’s backbone.

Myth has it that the Peak District is the second most visited national park in the world after Mount Fuji. Whether your innate scepticism reflex can put that aside for a moment or not, once there you can certainly see why that might be true (and not just because of its geographical fortuitousness at the mid-point between the capitals of London and Edinburgh).

In many ways, the region (actually not that ‘peaky’ - you may be surprised to know) concisely captures many a picture of the hallowed rural England which film director Danny Boyle tried to represent in a segment of his London Olympics fandango: that rich verdant sheen, the chocolate-box villages, myriad colour-flecked flowerbeds and sheep - lots of sheep. Moreover, if you didn’t quite twig what was meant by the phrase ‘rolling countryside’ - when you have spent a week or two nosing round the different corners of the Peak District, you certainly will.

So, if you’re planning a nice trip to the UK soon, you may want to fold in a little trip to the Peakland, hole up in a cute little two-up two-down and explore the region. Here are some suggestions of the most relaxing spots to visit while you’re there;

Dovedale

Pictorially famous for its linear stepping stones, the views here are pretty definitive of the region as a whole. As the name suggests, as long as you miss the crowds on really sticky days, the peaceful feeling that permeates the valley is one to savour. Just a little further up the burbling stream, the heights on the left are known as Dovedale Castle.

A little further on is a grassy tuft locally nicknamed Lovers’ Leap which takes its moniker from a folk tale recounting a distraught maiden who threw herself off said tuft after a particularly disastrous romantic rejection. Fortunately, you are almost guaranteed to have a much more positive experience!

Chatsworth House

The majesty of Chatsworth House and its grounds has not gone unnoticed by film directors and television producers down the years. Nestled in a prime spot overlooking the Derwent and Wye valleys, Chatsworth and its extensive estate makes for a thoroughly enjoyable day out.

Rent a deck chair and pull up a pew mid-way up the slope of the main lawn and watch the bubbling weir on the River Derwent and the people passing by and take in the tree-covered hillside, the magnificent hunting tower, and the faded golden hue of the bridge down below.

Buxton

Constructed around thermal springs in the Wye valley, the delightful Roman settlement town of Buxton is now something of a cultural hotspot once again with a flourishing arts scene, popular annual festival and a plethora of eye-catching sandstone pavilion-style buildings and gardens, an opera house and classical churches.

That said, the best place to relax here are the natural baths. Sheer bliss.

Bakewell

A fairly typical-looking town for the region, Bakewell is famous for one thing in particular. They are sweet, they are almondy, they are a little jammy. They are the Bakewell Puddings and they are delicious. They are also often confused with their cakey brethren the Bakewell Tarts. Buyer beware - these are not the same sweetstuff at all. (But actually also really rather quite nice).

This in mind, the best thing to do in Bakewell is a find a sweet little traditional tearoom like the Lavender Tea Rooms for example, order yourself a nice fresh pot of English breakfast tea and award yourself a serious treat in the shape of a Bakewell Pudding. Delish.

Guest Author Bio: "Matthew Pink is a writer and editor working in digital publishing covering travel and culture. Originally from the Lake District in northwestern England, he also writes crime fiction which is set there. Scafell is his first novel."

Joel Comm says, " #Spam me....please!" I say, "Me too."

Business card or historic SPAM?
Brief History: Civil War Pensions: The business card of one of the many attorneys specializing in pension claims, circa 1895. SSA History Archives. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you are a blogger for business purposes or not, you know that leaving a connection in a comment to the place you work or write is risky business. I have always thought of it as leaving a business card. Others view it is SPAM! Wow! I suppose there is a very good reason for that but I am still a little puzzled about hiding out. Those of us that blog depend on our Google+ account or take the effort to leave a name and URL in the comment form. Honestly, I am not sure what we are hiding. The word recognition tool takes care of most of the computer generated spam anyway. I like the idea of making connections with the people that stop by to read. If I can help them, I am sure they will return the favor.

Post a guest article with me.
In the past I have charged for posts that had a business connection. I will probably continue to do that. My reasoning is simple. I have spent a lot of time building this blog's audience very like business people build a very good location to sell their goods. People that use that location by renting it pay for the effort put into developing the land, building, etc. A blog is like a virtual business building.

But for a little while I am inviting you to submit ideas relevant to my topic...living the third stage of life. Money, gifts, stories, travel, small space living, retirement lifestyle, grandparenting....send me the ideas for a guest blogger article and I will give you a shot at being a guest blogger. I will try to publish as many as possible free of charge. The property will remain your own...I am only displaying your product. I will allow you to post a link back to your online presence. It is that simple.

Spam Comments
I have changed the information on comments. Please leave a comment with a link to your website or business. Spam with a link to your business. All I ask is that you leave a thought relevant to the article and make it suitable for a child to read. Spam away as much as you want. I will erase anything that is not appropriate...just so you know. Some spam will go away if I think it does not fit.

All I am asking in return is for you to use Twitter to share my articles and post to your facebook account if it is appropriate. I would like for you to click the Google+ button too.

So there you have it...spam away people. Leave a comment, submit an article...use this blog for your very own purposes for a very short time. Let's have some fun!

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Note: I left a comment on a website today. This is what I said:

I have decided to open the door a crack. Spam has two sides. The computer generated stuff is invisible to me. I use word recognition for my comments and can delete any comments that simply do not fit.

However, if an online presence has something to say, I am all ears. Tell me who you are and link to your business or blog. The only caveat is that you make all comments tame enough that a child could read them without being tainted and that the comment be relevant to the article. We will see.

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http://www.retireinstyleblog.com (smile) 

Website URL: The Wryter's Block

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Reinvention for Women Age 50+

I am pleased to have Susan Tolles as my guest blogger today. Susan is an Expert in Midlife Reinventions who inspires and equips women around the world to flourish inside and out. As a website creator, published author, speaker and life coach, Susan helps women celebrate and enrich their true inner and outer beauty as they age with grace and vitality. Her website FlourishOver50.com, viewed by thousands of women globally each month, provides the resources and tools to make the second half of their lives their best.

Susan is a published author, contributing to the collaborative booksInspired Women Succeed and The Unstoppable Woman's Guide to Emotional Well-Being. Both are available on her websites or on Amazon.

Susan lives in Austin, Texas, has been married for over 33 years and has three incredible children. She has worn many hats in her life and has personally experienced her own amazing midlife transformation, proving that it is never too late to discover your purpose and follow your dreams.

Visit Susan’s websites: www.FlourishOver50.com and www.MyPowerfulMe.com 

Reinvention for Women Over 50

Women over 50 are changing themselves along with the world. Retirement is not even on their radar, and they are not going to stay home, go to book club, play bridge and watch the world go by as their mothers did at this age. That will come much later. Now, they are reinventing themselves for something better and taking on life with a new spirit and tenacity that is making them more visible, giving them new confidence and bringing excitement into what was once a dull life-stage for women their age.

But how do they do it? How do women over 50 reclaim their “identity” after the empty nest? What does it take for a midlife woman to take a big leap of faith to leave a career she has had for years in order to do something she really loves to do?

As I experienced my own do-over, a woman’s reinvention brought on by her own “midlife crisis” can be summed up in three phases:

• I’m done. A woman in her 50′s realizes that she has been focusing on others for so long, saying yes to everything out of obligation, while carrying unfulfilled dreams deep in her soul. She must say “I’m done!” then give herself permission to focus on herself for a change. Forgiveness and overcoming guilt are also important parts of this step. 
• Now what? Once she is truly “done” with looking at the past, it is time for her to reconnect with her passions, to discover her new life purpose, and to set some goals for herself that will make her stretch. It is time for her to empower herself with a plan for an extraordinary future as she looks forward to the next few decades. For this woman over 50, the possibilities are endless, and she embraces change with enthusiasm. 
• Kick butt! With her newfound “Joie de vivre” the woman over 50 is taking on the world with a fierce determination that she will not be considered old, that she will look and feel her very best, and that the best years are yet to come. She has a renewed energy as she “kick’s butt” wearing stilettos instead of house slippers, choosing networking luncheons over afternoon bridge club. She is creating a life for herself doing the things she loves to do, allowing herself to be creative about her future. This fearless midlife woman takes care of her own needs, instead of being on the bottom of her to-do list, knowing that she will be a much better person in every area if she is continuing to explore the possibilities and grow. 

Yes, even a woman can experience a midlife crisis stage, often brought on by a deep realization that her life is half over and now it is time to focus on what is truly important. Her needs are not satisfied by purchasing material things, but instead are rooted in a deep desire to do something meaningful with her life, to leave a legacy that reaches beyond her children, and to reach the end of her life not saying “I just wish I had…”

If you are over 50 and longing to live with more passion and purpose, here are a few steps to get you started on your own reinvention.

• Make a list of the things you are passionate about, the things that “light your fire.” 
• Make a list of your gifts and skills. Ask others to help you if you get stuck. 
• Make another list of the things you DON’T want to do any more. 
• Picture yourself at 90 years old, telling your great-grandchildren about your life. What are you most proud of in the last 40 years? What do you want to be remembered for? 
• Write a life purpose statement for yourself, including what you want to do (see the first two points above) and who you want to impact 
• Make a list of goals that will stretch you and make you grow 
• Surround yourself with cheerleaders who will support you along the way 
• Celebrate your newfound enthusiasm! 

If you need a little extra encouragement or help with strategizing, please contact me at Susan@FlourishOver50.com.