I Would Like to do That But I Just Don't Want To

We were sitting with neighbors last night talking about wine and other important things. The conversation turned to retirement and how we all worried about filling the days without a schedule and a job. Would we be bored? How would it feel to be without deadlines and big responsibilities?

Many people move from a work schedule to a very busy life full of "stuff". I am even told by women of my age that they would like to read or walk or even have coffee with me but they are simply "too busy". Isn't that interesting? How could that be?

As I was reading an article on a blog site called Your Entrepreneurial Spirit this morning, it finally all came into focus for me. In the introduction I found this paragraph:

He drew me a picture! What a wonderful day.

Sogyal Rinpoche, author of “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” coined the term “active laziness” to describe how we attempt to live life to the fullest by filling the hours with too many unimportant activities.... Your Entrepreneurial Spirit

In today's world we are encouraged to live a full life brimming with activities, exercise and volunteer work. If we are to be fulfilled we must always be living in the moment and savoring the experience...or so I am told. If we don't do that, we are not worthy!

That is all very good but here is the thing...I would really like to do that but I just don't want to...so there you have it.

My days are filled with joy and the best day is one that has some contact with another. I simply love that part of my life. And I think because it makes me happy, it actually lifts the other person up too.

I do not fill my day with "active laziness" now. I suppose at one time or another I felt a tiny bit of panic because I woke and looked at a day with a lot of empty space. On this blog I have talked about the importance of a routine when the days loomed long. But, if something better presented itself, I would drop that routine in a second. I am never "too busy" for someone that is interested in spending time with me.

How about you? Do you fill your day with unimportant details just because...? I am interested in how you feel about your life?

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Retirement: Boredom and the Smoking Gun

One of my great loves...altering photos!
Nevada Desert Salt Flats
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Quote: Somebody’s boring me; I think it’s me.--Dylan Thomas

The beauty of life is that we get to choose...we can be interesting or boring. I have always thought that, given my wonderful carefree life, I should be at least content if not interesting. Even though there are factors in all our lives that can leave us depressed, it not whether those things happen but how we handle them. I can deal with the bad but it is the good times that had me wondering. I suppose that is why I didn't see the clues pointing to a need for change in my life. Everything is perfect. So what was the big mystery problem that left me wondering what to do with each and everyday? 

People would ask my husband what he was going to do when he retired. He would say I am going to do whatever I want! It never occurred to him and certainly not to me that we would ever be depressed or bored if we could just do what we wanted...day after day after day. Then one day the optimist in me woke up to the reality that I needed to have a plan and not a life full of one whim after another. I could not pretend any more that the smoking gun was not lying there on the floor and that gun had a label saying I Am Bored. WOW!

My children were never allowed to use that word ever. They knew it made me angry and I would always tell them that smart people didn't get bored and they should find something to do. But here I was, stuck in the rut of doing just exactly what I wanted and I did not like it at all. If my mother were around, I would whine "I'm bored". That scared me a lot. What was I going to do with the rest of my life?

Then it dawned on me that the thing I was lacking was a meaningful routine. I was needing a set of habits that made me do the necessary things every day. I should exercise, read the newspaper, wash and iron, take my pills, brush my teeth, make the bed, write letters, call on friends, maintain my personal appearance, cook, study, etc.  You have to understand that in the list of things to be done there are a lot of things I don't like to do. But I also know that a habitual routine can free up your mind to think about other things. Doing those things I don't like by habit can leave me time to think about what I want to write, read and create. So I came up with a routine.

The change was amazing. Days fly by and each one sees things accomplished. The time I spend doing those favorite things is precious and never wasted. My optimism is back and a cloud has lifted...thank you very much. Dylan Thomas would be pleased to know that I am not boring myself anymore.  

Have a wonderful day.

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Do you have a meaningful routine and what are the things you include on your list of things you do with out thinking?