Aging: I'm Sorry But You're Not Doing it Right

Aging is a full time job and I can actually say I like it a lot better than I did the jobs I did as a young person. But it seems that I may not be doing it right. It seems younger people, some of them "experts", have an opinion even though they have no real experience at being old. I think the final straw for me this week was the notion put forth on Fox News that we need to have our vocal cords fixed so we sound younger. Of all things in the world it had never occurred to me that my voice did not sound just fine. I like my voice.

Then I was read a post written by Chloe Jeffreys over at Chloe of the Mountain called Another War No Woman Can Win. In the article she talked about the battles that women just cannot win. Aging has been added to the list. But then doing it wrong is nothing new to a woman like me. Here is what Cloe had to say:

Spending my entire female life watching women emotionally and socially beat the hell out of each other over...being a feminist, maintaining your hymen until your wedding night, giving away the cow for free, giving head, showing your godliness by turning your head and thinking of England, homeschooling, putting the kids in daycare, staying with him, getting a divorce–and on and on–I find myself unsurprised that ageing is the next unwinnable female competitive sport.

Well Chloe, I for one am not surprised. I have heard the discussions from women my age
over graying hair, lifts and injections, exercise and yoga. I have even read articles written by women highlighted with pictures of old people with black hairy moles. In every one of those articles I hear a hint of fear. The idea is that, if you do all the "right" things, aging will not come to you. The truth of the matter is, you cannot escape aging anymore than you can escape growing up. It is just a fact of life. Yet even people like Chloe and I are doing our best to look good as we age.

Women fall into several categories. There are those that disdain the effect that the sun, dry air or even too much alcohol or coffee can have on your body. They plow through life letting what is just
be. In fact, the woman that do that are very happy in their skin I think. If I took every mirror
out of my house I could live like that without any problem.

Then there are those that begin angsting about wrinkles and sagging skin very early in their life. Cosmetic manufacturers love them a lot. I have no idea if it makes a difference. The only women I see that still have perfect skin are the ones that never go out in the sun, use tons of face cream to plump up cells and never change their expressions.

Then there are women like me that loved a natural look for most of their lives. I enjoyed the sun and being outdoors. My skin was wonderful and I would often comment that it did not one whit of good to get sick because I always looked just fine...no sympathy for me. I always colored my hair because I wanted a change once in a while. I too disdained the make-up counters and anti-aging creams. Then one day my daughter took me for a makeover for my birthday. The rest is history and now it is almost 20 years later. I still love my make-up, my dressing table and the time I spend each day pampering myself. I make no apologies for that.

However, I do not color my hair anymore. In fact, I embrace my white hair and all that it implies.

So, I am sure that Chloe would agree. Really, no one is doing it wrong. We all need to do what we think helps us feel good about ourselves. What is right for me is just that. You do it your way and we will both be happy. But above all, we need to face the realities about aging and find a way to be content with what we are gifted.

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