Dying: The Subject We All Avoid

This lady was very old and could
barely walk but she put on all her jewelry
and traveled around the west. I was
 fascinated with her attitude.

Aging is not easy. Getting old is a frame of mind. Young people try to wrap their mind around what to do and what it is like but fail. Old people like to ignore it. It is the subject we all try to avoid but sooner or later must face...dying!

My husband and I lived in a RV Resort in the winter for many years. We and our friends gathered very much like college students to reconnect and party or dance or play golf. We laughed and had happy hour every night. It seemed that we lived so close that we wanted to yell "Good Night John Boy" when we went to bed.

It was a very happy time, all-be-it much too short. But it did have to come to an end.

Year before last my husband and I decided to leave the park and find a small home with families and children and traffic. We were not ready to live with ghosts.

Within that time almost everyone in our RV neighborhood was gone. Some did not return because of ill health or simply by choice. Some died...one friend committed suicide. One couple in their eighties divorced. Some, like ourselves, found a new place to visit in the winter.

But in the end, the reality was that our community of people was gone. New owners have moved in and not one original owner was left. The specter of the ghosts was too much for us.

In the end, our family members are
 our "real" friends. We count on them.

Aging is not easy but getting old is a frame of mind. You can move on if you are not ready to sit down and watch the world die around you.

And is is a subject not even I want to discuss. No candy glazing can change what reality is like. I miss those friends and neighborhood community.

I do need for you to know that I have good memories and my husband and I are continuing to grow and built new communities of friends. Many of our old friends remain close so that is good. We are happy.

Many of our friends are our children's age.
They are very important to us.

So, what do you feel about the way your life is going? Have you sat down to wait it out or are you going to make a few new beginnings?

b+

But what I love most of all is watching the
children take on the big tasks...like eating
the whole drumsticks in life.

Reinvention: Making a movie called "The Red Suitcase"

Note: I love it when I find a project or movie that speaks to the resilience of the human spirit. The idea that we find a way to survive and grow at any age has a lot of appeal for me.  I think that is why I have become a follower of a movie project called The Red Suitcase. The movie is written in the genre of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.  Both are about aging in a state of crisis. This movie has not been released yet and is in fact not finished filming. But you get an inside look now.

Connections
Henrik Ibsen wrote timeless raw material that shocked his readers in the middle 19th century.  I remember reading what I think were his words in a literature class in college in the early 1960s.  Even at the age of 19 I recognized the truth in his words. I will paraphrase the story for you:

Ibsen told about taking the old people to the poor house to live out their days. The family was busy, the old people were very hard to care for and they did not have any wealth to contribute to the family. As the elderly couple climbed from the coach, the old man tore the blanket that had covered him in two and handed one half to his son. 

The son asked, "Why did you do that?  It is very cold." 

In reply the old mans said, "I am leaving you half of the blanket. You will need it when your children bring you here."

I have always thought that this story spoke to the examples we set for our children. The cycle of our actions continue even though we are gone. The way we treated our parents is how we will be treated.

The Movie
That brings me to a movie called The Red Suitcase. I received an email from the writer of the movie several months ago.  The movie is about a mother and her daughter connecting in a cross country journey.  The mother had been divorced for several years but lived with the hope that her husband would return one day. It is only after she has found out that the husband has remarried that the truth becomes a reality for her. 

I could see myself as the daughter in this story. I would have gone to my mother to try to convince her to join me in the far off state. The idea of my mother being alone and sad was a reality I could never face.

Both of the women needed to own the unpleasant realities in their lives.  Neither was without fault and their personalities clashed. The mother did not have the means to care for herself. But in this case, the daughter did not take the easy way out. She assumed the responsibility that the connection between a mother and her child demands.

JOIN THE RED SUITCASE "THE MOVEMENT" 

Red Suitcase Films is dedicated to launching a Movement, that inspires Reinventing at any age.Our mission is to spark a revolution, by inspiring old and young alike to see aging as an exciting journey of discovery, proving that... It's never too late! Keep checking back for future updates on our upcoming campaign. (Click here for The Red Suitcase website.)

The movie is being produced in a very unusual way I think. The makers went to the public and asked for donations so that it could be produced. They are still working on that project but as they travel across the country toward their destination the movie too inches toward it's completion. I have been watching the process and it is fascinating.

The message here is "reinvention". The idea that we can find a new path at any age is one to which we can all relate.  We would all like to think that we are stronge enough to pick ourselves and and start over no matter how old we are.

Dana White is the writer and producer. But more importantly she plays the role of the daughter. As with most writing, this film is the response to her own life experience.

Ibsen's Selected Plays (Norton Critical Editions) (amazon)

Could the old people in Ibsen's tale have reinvented themselves in that era?  I doubt it. In fact this modern version of reinvention is gaining momentum all the time because it is a part of the boomer phenomena.  I think you should visit The Red Suitcase and enjoy.

I also urge you to visit the The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel research website.  This is good stuff.

Just a thought.  

b
Technorati tags:  Film, Boomers, Divorce

Related articles

• Too Much Excitement! (itcrossedmymindblog.wordpress.com)
• Reinvention (Retire In Style Blog)

Aging: The Gardening Stage

Add caption

When we first retired, we wanted to be rid of our garden.  I think we saw it as the link to years of work and getting by financially.   The vegetables carried us through the summer, were sold to fruit stands for extra pocket change and any extra produce was canned for the coming cold winter.  It was a lot of work but a necessity at the time.

Retirement gave us the opportunity to fly away from the responsibility that had kept food on the table and clothes on our back.  Our jobs had provided our homes, educated our children and provided a nest egg for our retirement.  So when freedom came around, we simply did what we wanted to do when we wanted to do.  We did not need to worry about the garden anymore.

The years have gone by and it has been 15 years since we retired.  We have grown and matured as older people.  The process took us through downsizing and RV travel born of restlessness.  We are growing older.  Now we find that we have arrived at that part of our life when we want to garden again.  We want to enjoy the beauty of the flowers, watch them grow and mature.  We want to share its bounty with our family and friends.  The change in us is not as much about how we look or even our health anymore.  It is about our spiritual center.  Contentment and peace is ours.  Our garden is doing just fine.

Have a wonderful day.

b

*If you click on the google link or beam the blog up on twitter it helps!  If you are not a follower, please feel free to become one.  I love that you are here.  Thank you.