Why, Barbara?

 I could never figure out why old people wanted to go back north when there was still so much fun to be had in Tucson. "Why go? Don't go," I would say, "Stay with us."

There was no way I could change their minds. My friend Carole would plead with them, and yet there it was...that empty spot where they lived in our hearts. "What was that need?" I thought. But it remained...they were Snow Birds that had flown south to escape reality, and they needed to go north to stay. 

I was never young, it seemed. That flight of fancy that teenager had was never mine. I was born seeing what could happen when you took big chances. I never felt omnipotent. I knew that young people could be wounded too.

Retirement was a dream come true. We were educators and always in the public eye. To be invisible seemed like a wonderful way to live our lives. My husband and I followed the dream. We became snowbirds and lived in Arizona for half the year. I, for one, could have my teen years back and behave badly. It was fun.

Then my husband died. The following year, I traveled to India for my granddaughter's high school graduation. I continued to go south for 3 years. I found a group of like-minded people at the University of Arizona's Osher Lifelong Learning Institute. I wrote and read wonderful books and simply became a part of the OLLI group.

Actually, my life was perfect! 

Then one day, the call of my Oregon home and family told me it was time to go back permanently. No more migrating south for me. I began to understand what geese knew from the beginning. There is a season for all things.

My Tucson AZ. home on the golf course

Living longer and longer is the fact that those of us who are younger face. We don't plan on dying soon.

Theater Performance

Livingroom

I had my youth, a working life, and then retirement. Now there is a fourth part to my life. The fourth stage sees me beginning all over again back where we started. I have come full circle.

Kitchen

But what do you do with the life you have lived for half of each year...the house, collections, and friends?

Outdoor evening eating spot.

Facing reality is not as easy as it sounds. I had collected things for all of those years, and they had always stayed in Arizona. Twenty-six years of memories to be bundled up and moved or simply left behind.

Well, of course I did all of those things...sold, bundled, and abandoned. The material things are gone. Now I have memories and pictures.

The truth is that home is home when you are someone like me. I was born and raised in Oregon. I love this place, and it seems that no matter where I go, I am always looking for something just like it. Now I understand why old people want to go home. Like migrating birds, we need to return. 

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Everything that is Old is New Again

It is hard to decide... do I garden, read, or vacuum? The fact that I get to make those decisions based on how I feel, or even on what I wish, amazes me. On the first day of my retirement, I felt guilty.  Now time is on my side... kind of. Even though the years remaining for me have shrunk, as I look around at age-mates, my generation is living FOREVER. The idea of sitting and waiting could be boring. And, the ultimate question could be, "Why would I do that?"  There are things that need to be done.

All of us see changes in life. Embracing life is what is important. I don't "live in the moment" as people suggest. A certain amount of daydreaming is necessary, I think. I simply live, and I am content. As for the changes, here are some I see now. 

• I am beginning to do the things I used to dread when I got "old"... I turn on the light in my bedroom before dark and even turn down my bed while I am at it. If you have fumbled around in the dark and been afraid to fall, you will understand.  It surprised me when I began doing that.
• That age-old mindset called gullibility is becoming a problem. The need to guard against ads on computer websites like Facebook is becoming increasingly important. On Facebook, I saw an ad for a shoe that was supposed to help people like me who have balance issues. I thought I would just check on that and was actually tempted. Sigh. 
• It has occurred to me that I could become a recluse. Going out in the cold/dark/cold/hot will have me staying at home. As a result, walking becomes harder simply because my muscles don't get used. It is so comfortable in my chair with my dog on my lap. Leaving my house requires an effort.
• Calling for help when I can do the job myself is becoming more common. Pure laziness will take over and make me act helpless. Women with husbands are tempted to do this. I often wonder if that is why husbands develop the habit of supervising their wives' every move. (My husband was not very willing at first to help me with what I simply didn't want to do. If I called him more than once to come and solve a single problem, he would say "GD Barbara" under his breath as he walked down the hall. I even threatened to change my name to "GD Barbara")

I am interested in what changes are happening in your life, no matter your age. WHAT IS NEW IN YOUR LIFE? Or is everything that is Old New Again!

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 When my mother was very old, she was so gullible, and it had even begun to creep up on my husband as he came to the end of his life. I was very excited as older people began embracing the use of computers, but now I can see that there may be a downside to that. 

 

 

On retirement: What does retirement mean to you? Seriously, what does that word mean? It seems to me that the meaning of that word changes over time. 

Newly Retired: Talking about the weather!

My secret garden

 I have written more than once about being newly retired. It has been so many years now, but the stories still linger.

Annie, age 3

I am surprised when those familiar stories come up in the conversation. Now, it's my children who are talking. Being newly retired still has its challenges. When I retired, it was mostly the men who came home to stay who were a little lost. They had been bosses/supervisors or upper-level employees one day and jobless the next. Suddenly, they had only one employee, their partner in life. It was hard...believe me, I know.

But in the 2020s, hopefully, the couple's life would be a partnership. Everyone worked. Now the issue was boredom and what do we talk about?

Issues at work had filled the evening hours. Rants and excitement and people! Just the things of work life in general. 

As abruptly as the job ended, the new beginning began. I personally found that the weather came up several times a day. "Really hot/cold/rainy/cloudy/dark today!" As a woman, I found that "what's for dinner" became the main topic. Thank heavens I love to cook. But the weather?

Somewhere on the internet, there is a list of 100 things to do in retirement.  Back in the day, geocaching was popular, but that list also listed dumpster diving and couponing. I have no idea if those are still popular. I found some that are more up to date here.

When the boomers retired, everyone had advice. AARP led the march, giving out pearls of wisdom to those lost souls. It always made me smile. They were suddenly relevant, and boy did they make the best of it. They posted ads on TV and sent out millions of pieces of junk mail. The canvas bags appeared everywhere.   My attitude was one of disdain. The whole idea of joining the oldsters did not appeal. I still have never been inside a "senior center". I suppose when I get old, I will go there!

Honestly, I fill each day with gardening, writing, and wonderful books. I love my neighbors and friends. My dog, Annie, is so important to me, and I love TV.

I am just bringing you up to date. Next, I will be writing about my life as an almost-very-elderly woman. 

Let me know what you know. What's up with you?

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Our first retirement park model  
(visiting granddaughters)