How to Say No to Babysitting!

My son called me just a few minutes ago to ask if we could take care of our grandsons tomorrow morning.  They are having the carpets cleaned throughout the house!  Yikes! I think he really needed us.  But we are getting ready to leave for Arizona on Monday and are having the whole family here for dinner tomorrow night.  Hard as it was I had to say no.

My son did not think a thing of it.  A short explanation and how I felt told him that I was not doing this because I was selfish.  I just couldn't.  How have we come to this place?  I know some children and their parents have real problems in this area.  This is the strategy we have used:

• Everyone understands that we are not the full time baby sitter.  While it would be a big financial help for my children to assume this responsibility, we have discussed how important it is for them to carry this burden.  In cases that involve friends I don't mince words.  No just means no...you can't make me do that no matter how much I love you! Smile!
• When we do take care of the grand babies, I discuss what we have done when the parents come to pick them up.  While I don't complain, I do let them know that my age will not let me do this for an extended period of time.
• We have a relationship with their babysitter and have visited her home. I have no explanation for why this helps but it does.
• I have always been honest with them.  If we have plans,I simply tell them.
• If it is a true "emergency",  we change our plans and pick up the slack.  They know that in such cases, they can count on us.  I have even come home from Arizona in an emergence.  

Brycen, 1 yr. 10 month
Very hard to turn down!

In the end I think we have always been clear about what we can and cannot do.  I am sure it came up in the conversation even before the last two grandchildren were born.  We all understand where the boundaries are.    My husband and I stay very active and busy.  We are strong family and we support one another but give each other a lot of space.  It has always worked for us.

In an article written for Grandparents.com the author (Wilmoth Foreman) talked about a grandmother of 8 and her attitude toward being asked to babysit:

Without a blink, she reels off her grandkids' ages — 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 3, 1. For Annie, watching the kids has never felt obligatory. Instead, she sees it as a chance for the grandkids to get to know their grandparents as people. "The little ones are my only hope for sitting these days. I jump at keeping them every chance I get," she says wistfully. "It's hard to say you don't want to be part of something that won't last very long." Annie hastens to add, though, that her grandkids' parents have never overstepped their bounds or "put her on the spot."

Read more:http://www.grandparents.com/gp/content/expert-advice/new-grandparents/article/grannynannyboundaries.html#ixzz1cgMdRn8r

I think she said it better than anyone could.  My children, like hers have not "overstepped their bounds or 'put us on the spot'".   Wish us luck.  So far we a doing just fine.

b

Related articles

• I Thank All those That Stand in Awe of my many Skills! (itcrossedmymindblog.com)
• 4 Inexpensive Summertime Activities for Visiting Grandchildren (retireinstyleblog.com)

Grandchildren will tattle on you! Be careful!

Brothers on the outs!

Over the years my skills as a grandmother babysitter have been questionable and there is a long list of things I have done wrong.  The worst mistake I made was quoting my mother and saying that the neighbor's dog was "so worthless he should be taking out in the back yard and shot".  I guess I had never visualized what that would really look like.  Then my grandson quoted me and tattled about where he heard it.  I was in big big trouble!

So there are a few things I need to warn my daughter-in-law about:
Even though my children have never brought the grandchildren extremely early in the morning they should know that really early is probably not a good idea.  Oh, yes, I do love the babies beyond reason but I am afraid I might hurt them.  I did almost cut my finger off making a sandwich for my husband very early one summer morning.  He doesn't let me use the knife before noon.  It just doesn't seem like a good idea to let me handle babies either.  I just thought you should know.

And your telling me they eat ANYTHING???  That just can't be the truth.  See I tried giving them squash soup last week and the both looked at me like I had two heads.  The older one wanted to know what it was and younger one rubbed it in his hair.  Good thing his hair is orange already.  You didn't even notice did you?  Anyway, if you want me to feed them anything but Mac 'n Cheese let me know.

My next question is about the pull ups and the big boys underwear in the bottom of the diaper bag.  Why are there 3 pull ups, two of the big boy underwear and one pair of blue jeans.  This just does not add up.  If he uses up all the pull ups, I am on to the big boy underwear.  If he gets one pair of those wet what will he wear to cover his legs over the last pair?  I cannot not even think about the answer to the final pair of underwear.  I'm just doing the math.  I will not let him drink very much until you explain to me.

So, I think that is all the information I have for today.  FIY:  call me anytime day or night!  I am up for the job.  I am just warning you about my level of skills and competence.  They are questionable at best!

Mom, Grandma, b