Downsizing in Retirement? But where?

Downsizing was on everyone's mind. The stress people endure just because of a lifetime of clutter they have accumulated added to the retirement dilemma and limited income and you have the perfect reasons for wanting to live in something much smaller.

Park Model in RV Resort

Once the decision has been made to move the question is where? People as asking themselves Should we sell our house here in the north and buy something smaller for much less in a warmer climate? It has occurred to me that we might need to rethink what we are doing.

It is a temptation to sell here in Portland, Oregon, for example, because a person can buy something in the Southwest USA for less and have disposable income left over to have MORE fun right now. When the weather is warm in the winter that person will be at home while all those snow birds are living in small resorts. Sound about right doesn't it?

RV Resort Bocci Ball Tournament

Then summer comes...it gets very hot in the southwest in the summer. Those people want to do the snowbird thing in reverse and fly north to find some cooler weather. BUT, it is very expensive and there is really not that much available in the way of short term rentals for vacationing people. A hotel or motel is not affordable at all. Most people spend a very short period of time in the north. Better than nothing I suppose.

Snowbird Friends

It might be that downsizing to a smaller place in some location that is perfect in the summer would be smarter. When you came back north you would be at home and probably near your families and friends. The spend less on your winter location. The southwest is ripe for the picking when it comes to snowbird living. There is so much available at a reasonable price, especially in RV resorts. Even purchasing a small park model like we own is possible for less than $20,000. You will have a more fun than you ever imagined but not be tied to so much responsibility.

It is just a thought. Downsize at home in the north and snow birding small in the southwest has been our choice and I am so grateful that we have decided to do that. We live in a place that those coming north could not afford to visit for very long. Life is good!

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Note: I happen to think that Idaho has some of the best locations for downsizing. Check out McCall for your small home in the north. It is gorgeous.

 Summer

Catching the Boomerang: Downsizing?

By Barbara Torris (b+). She is a retirement blogger talking about a beautiful life style.
I was visiting with a blogging friend the other day and the conversation turned to boomerang-kids. This seems to be a conversation I am having frequently. I suppose it is on my mind. The question is How does the extra adult in the house come into play when it comes to  retirement saving?

Can people catch the boomerang before it lands in their front yard? Some people are not happy living with adult children and some are. If they are not, they need to be looking at a way to prevent their children from boomeranging.

The blogging friend's wife and I started the conversation with boomerangs and ended it with downsizing in retirement. We looked at each other in amazement as it occurred to both of us at the same time that many mid-life and retired people are downsizing so that, when the children need help, coming home to live will not be a choice. They know it would not be a happy situation for them. Interesting huh?

Could it be people are saving enough money by downsizing so they are able to help children in trouble but not make them dependent on them totally? The family remains on good terms and the children continue to mature and be self reliant. Helping pay part of the grown child's rent is a lot different than them coming home to live rent-free. The child could still be responsible for most of the cost and be forced to live within their means.

So, give it some thought. If a person is in a position where saving during those last few years of work is very important to their retirement, supporting an adult child can break the bank. There really should be a way to do both. It could be that downsizing is one strategy that should be considered.

What do your think?

Re-decorating: Kitty Bartholomew where have you gone?

I loved Kitty Bartholomew on HGTV! I know that dates me but I cannot help it. In fact, I woke up the other day thinking how much I missed those HGTV shows that inspired me to create and recreate. She made me feel at home in my home because the message was that little changes made a big difference. I could do it myself.

Kitty Bartholomew's Decorating Style: A Hands-On Approach to Creating Affordable, Beautiful, and Comfortable Rooms

I still watch HGTV but after a while every show is the same. If you have wasted enough time watching Property Brothers or Love It or List It, you know what is coming next because, in the end, every decor is the same. Nothing reflects the fact that anyone lived there. If you do it their way, a trip to the local big box store is  all you need to decorate any apartment or home. What each place is missing is the layers of life we bring to our dwellings. A home is so much more than furniture placed correctly or even the pictures on the walls. It is those personal items that make the difference.

Moving is a real test of your ability to make a home. Downsizing is a challenge in particular. All the "stuff" you have chosen to keep comes with you and now the task is to make a nest where you can feel as though it reflects who you are. But most people don't move with the thought of hiring a decorator...it is expensive to move. Yet we all want a fresh look. As a result, you have to take what you have and make it work. Someone told me once that when my husband and I moved, you could not tell we had just arrived. It was just us from top to bottom yet it all "looked" new.

The fun is in taking what we have and putting it together in a different way...like a recipe that is changed in small ways creating a totally new dish...familiar yet refreshed.  I love to take all of my wall decor, for example, and mix them together in different way. I do that several different ways:

• color combination, i.e. all black and whites or muted colors or genre
• texture, i.e. all antique frames or woods
• eclectic, i.e. a mixture of colors, textures, 3-d items (musical instruments, etc.)
• shapes, i.e. round, rectangle, square
• themes, i.e. travel photos, pictures of flowers, family photos, landscapes

I use this same technique when I arrange furniture or gather a table top arrangement.

I can use my formula for my home and it looks okay. But Kitty knows that a home is where you live. Every item in her rooms seemed to say that she put her hands on it and made it her own. I always had the feeling that each piece had a story and she could tell you where it was from and why she loved it. I want to be like her.

When you come in my house, you will know that what you see is what my husband and I love. My husband is the ergonomically correct person and he wants to have his things at his finger tips. I have come to love that. His clutter is a thing of beauty because it tells me that he is at home too. I suppose this fact explains why the walls are not pink and covered with flowers. Our home is a shared space.

So, Kitty Bartholomew wherever you are, thank you for making it okay to "live" in my little house with a cat that sheds and a husband that nests. Even as our home gets smaller we feel comfortable. In my eyes it is beautiful. You have given me a very special gift.

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Downsizing During Retirement: How to Make Fewer, Smaller Bathrooms Work

Note: I think downsizing is a smart financial move for a retiree. But it is an adjustment because it means fewer rooms and smaller spaces. The bathroom is a prime example. Chet Jenkins sent me this article. I hope you like it.

Downsizing to a smaller home during retirement makes so much sense for the single person or couple on a budget. The benefits include fewer expenditures and less maintenance. However, among the downsides of the decision is dealing with smaller or fewer bathrooms than you might be used to. Making do with cramped bathrooms or one bathroom is easier than you may think.

Maximize Storage Space Take advantage of any area with out-of-the-way storage potential. For example, under the sink or behind the mirror — that’s why you should start with the vanity — or in bathroom corners. You can even store some items, like spare toilet paper rolls, behind the toilet. Add shelves behind the door or on the wall. Just because you’ve downsized doesn’t mean you can’t remodel — and start with a storage-friendly vanity. Put some of the money you’ve made by selling a bigger home into revamping the bathroom to maximize storage space however you can. Even if you’re renting and can’t make big improvements, you can add storage-friendly cabinets and bins that won’t require tearing anything down.

Schedule Bathroom Use (to a Point)
If you share a cramped bathroom with one or more other people, you won’t have the freedom of using the bathroom whenever you want anymore. However, there’s a simple way to reduce those incidences of everyone wanting to use the bathroom at once: Make a bathroom schedule.

Unplanned toilet visits excepting, you can easily schedule whose turn it is to shower, bathe or get ready in the morning. Decide who gets to go first each day or rotate from one day to the next.

You will be surprised how less clutter will make things simpler.
You will need just half the space you are using now.

The best way to maximize space in a cramped bathroom is to keep clutter out of the way. This is especially true if you’re sharing a bathroom. Don’t clutter the sink or shower with bottles. Stick with the basics that everyone uses, such as soap and shampoo. Store your personal items, like toothbrushes, behind the mirror or under the sink whenever you’re not using them. If the space there is limited, create a toiletries basket for everyone in the home. Fill it with those personal items you don’t share and bring it in and out of the bathroom as needed.

Look on the Bright Side
Less space seems like a downside to living in a smaller home, but it really could be a positive. Spending less — or nothing — on your mortgage or spending less on rent is the most obvious advantage. When it comes to your smaller bathroom, you’ll:

• Spend less time cleaning. This is especially true if you have fewer bathrooms than before.
• Spend less on maintenance. Imagine: fewer drains to get clogged, fewer toilets to overflow or never stop running.
• Be more likely to keep it free of mold and mildew. Dirt is more obvious in a cramped bathroom, so you’ll need to keep countertops clear and clean so you can share the bathroom.
• Less to spend to make it more accessible. It’s a good idea for anyone, but especially for retired people, to think about making bathrooms more accessible in the event of injury or illness. A walk-in shower and hand rails to help you get off the toilet or enter the tub is a big expense and a hassle in multiple, large bathrooms. However, it’s an easier task to undertake in a small or single bathroom.Reflect to other times in your life where you might have shared small bathrooms before, such as when growing up or in college. You dealt with it then and you can definitely cope now.

It may take some getting used to at first, but you can happily live with one cramped bathroom during retirement. The kids are gone, so it’s just you and maybe a spouse, significant other or roommate to share the bathroom with. When grandkids and other guests drop by, introduce them to your toiletries basket and scheduled bathroom visit system. Everyone will get along just fine.

About the Author: Chet Jenkins is a contributing writer and retirement blogger. His articles on retirement living have appeared across the Web and in local publications.

5 Conversation Starters with Your Children...help me make a list.

Mexico 10 years ago - time passes quickly!

I have recovered from a cold recently.  My husband and I just returned from China.  We are living in park model 1600 miles from home.  We are talking about driving into Mexico to Guaymas. I am 70 and my husband is 74.  We are very active retired teachers.  Yet, when I feel ill, I begin to worry about a time when I will feel bad and won't get better.

Time is passing faster than we care to admit.  The time for bonding with our children on that level where they may be asked to really help us and not just offer helpful advice is coming.  We need to pave the way for a smooth transition when that time comes.  It has occurred to me that I need to find out what they think. So I am thinking about some questions that I can ask that will help our family when that time comes.

There will be 5 and only 5 questions.  Rule # 1:  Don't ask all of these questions on the same day.  I want information not a family feud!

1. If we don't tell you, how will you know when we cannot manage our finances?
2. Can you describe the place your father and I will live in when we cannot live independently. The answer for this cannot include any labels like "nursing home" or "assisted living" even though the description may fit those places.
3. How will you handle "traveling problems" if they should occur? This may include a discussion about whether we should even drive.
4. Which of you will be in charge when the time comes for life changing decisions?  Can you work together?
5. How will you help us live independently?  

My husband and I are living a wonderful life.  We always try to create an image of successful aging.  I can see that my children may not recognize that we are going to need help.  I know this list needs to be longer but maybe just asking a few simply questions will open the door for the dialogue.  The unasked question is always "How will you even find time to help us?" but then that is for another day.   If you have suggestions, please tell me.  We need to begin compiling a list of helpful conversation starters with our children on this subject.

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Note: I need for you to understand that asking too many questions is not good.  Children mistake a parent that is trying to get attention by asking how to run the thermostat or the TV controller as a sign that the parent is losing their mind!  Really people, don't do that.  Independence falls away when we begin craving more attention. If you want more attention just tell them so and make arrangements that will satisfy your needs.  Children cannot read your mind.  This post is not about that kind of help/questions.

Technorati Tags: aging

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Downsizing in Retirement...Stress/Trauma Explained

Tombstone AZ...did they die of gunshots
or were they just trying to buy a house?

In an article published on the AARP website called Downsizing in Retirement Stan Hinden spoke about the trauma and expense of downsizing during you retirement.  We have been going through the trauma of this decision for a month now.  In our case, trauma and expense could very well be a hyphenated word.

When we received an offer on our condo very near the first of July we were elated.  The fact that we had two offers in our hand only made it better.  All we could think was that the black moving cloud was going to by pass us this time.  We celebrated and began to pack in earnest.  All was going smoothly until the inspector came to call.  He found mold in our attic space and, because we are condo owners, we were not allowed to order the repairs.  The only way to resolve that issue was through our HOA.

So we went out to get a bid for more ventilation in the attic and remediation for the mold. We were instructed to take the bids to a special meeting of the HOA board held for the purpose of helping us with the problem.  It was the 4th of July weekend.  On that Saturday we made several calls and finally found a company that had their offices open on the holiday weekend.  Their name, 911 Restoration, led me to believe that they might be our go to people.  We made an appointment and a representative came out on Monday morning, looked the attic over and gave us a bid for $2000.  Because I had asked him if the cost for the remediation could come out of the closing and they had replied yes, I was surprised when they demanded payment upon completion.  We accepted his bid with the understanding that the HOA board would need to approve it first.  Gulp #1!

The roofer actually came out on a Sunday morning and gave us a bid while standing on the ground and taking a quick look at the roof from the upstairs deck.  The bid was for $400 for 7 vents.  This, he told us, would bring the attic space up to current state code standards.  We thought the bid was good and accepted it with the caveat that the HOA would need to approve the work first.  He wanted his money when he completed the work.  AND when we looked at the bid, we realized that the man could not spell! Gulp #2!

The meeting of the HOA board was set for the following Thursday and we were to prepare a letter for the board so they could be aware of the problem before the meeting.  We did that and included the bids along with the letter.  When we walked into the special meeting we were surprised to find a room full of people.  For some reason I did not realize how involved the condo owners were. I wondered if there was going to be a problem.   This is the way the discussion went:

HOA Chairman:  We are going to keep this meeting very informal so the audience can be allowed to have their say in this matter.  The matter is now up for discussion.
HOA MEMBER #1:  I am sorry but I cannot even consider this action unless we have at least 3 bids.
HOA MEMBER#2:  But these people will not be able to move if we delay to get three bids.
HOA MEMBER#1:  I don't care!
HOA MEMBER#2:  OH!  Well Member #3, didn't you have this type of work done on your condo.
HOA MEMBER#3:  Yes I did and the cost was about the same as this bid.
HOA MEMBER#2:  Well "b" (that's me) how did you locate this roofing guy.
ME:  He was recommended to us by another roofer that could not do the job for us.
HOA MEMBER#2:  I was just wondering because this roofer cannot spell!!!  Do you think he will do a good job?
ME:  I sure hope so! Gulp #3!
BOARD CHAIR:  I need a vote by each person.
#1 NO
#2 Yes
#3 Yes
#4 Yes
#1  I only voted no because the roofer cannot spell!

In the end the HOA agree to allow the repairs AND volunteered to pay for them. We called the roofer and the mold remediation companies with the good news and told them that they could bill the property management group the HOA used after they had completed the work.  They both said NO & NO!  We worked out a backup plan where we would pay the bills and the HOA would reimburse us.

The contractors both came on schedule and did a beautiful job.  We were delighted.  We paid for the work out of our own pocket and submitted the bill for reimbursement to the management company. Then we waited for the $2400 check to arrive in the mail.  We waited and we waited.  I called the management company and was assured the "check was in the mail!"  We waited but still no check.  Finally the management company called me back and said the check was returned to them...they had put the wrong zip code on the letter.  Gulp #4

We drove across town and retrieved the check.  Now, today after a long day on the phone with banks and loan officers, it appears the house may be ours.  Keep your finger crossed.

This saga does not even tell you about Social Security offices without a fax machines and answering machines that hang up on you without warning.  It does not tell you about our state retirement system that promises paper week in a few day and took two weeks to actually do it.  It doesn't talk about a system of laws that is so full of catch 22 situations that you cannot protect yourself.

Let me tell you though...I am not going to be denied.  Karma took a backseat in this process and we took control of our own fate.  It was hard but I do believe it is going to work!

The stress of this whole thing has had us both pacing the floors. My heart has skipped about every third beat.  The word "trauma" does not even come close to telling the whole story.  If two people as financially sound as we have been have this much trouble, my heart goes out to those people that have suffered big setbacks in this financial downturn.  Banks are so hard to satisfy and the days when you were judged on your reputation are gone.  Just shoot me if I ever consider doing anything like this again!

Thank you for listening.

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Moving Advice - How to Keep Costs Down

 Background
    In a blog post I wrote back in February, I spoke about aging in place.  Should we AGE IN PLACE or Are There Other Choices? was the title of the blog.  I wondered at the time if I would know when the time had come to find a home that reflected my age and not my youthful dreams.  We wanted to make the move to a one level home when we could enjoy the move and getting to know new people.  The thoughts I was mulling over in my head back in February must have taken root.  We are making the move and we are very excited about the choice.
     Back in 2001 we moved into a multilevel condo with soaring views and three beautiful deck for my plants.  During those ten years we made this our home, watched our grandchildren grow up and enjoyed a beautiful retirement lifestyle.  It has been a very happy time in our lives. Then this last spring I fell on the golf course and twisted my ankle severely.  We were in Arizona at the time so I was able to heal in our little park model.  Still, I was given a taste of what it might be like to live for a length of time with limited mobility.  It was a wake up call for my husband and I.  We both knew that the time had come.  When we came home to Oregon, we listed our home.  It sold at the beginning of July.  We will move this next week.
Moving Tips
    The last time we moved our choices were limited...you hired a mover or you rounded up a bunch of friends and family or you moved yourself.  We chose to use a mover that time.  The process of moving has changed since those olden times 10 years ago.  I guess I haven't been paying much attention. Now people are doing things a lot differently.  They are learning to save money on the moving costs because a whole world of new resources are available now.  This is what we found:
Image via Wikipedia

• Angie's List:  This a service that provides rating and listings for local service providers.  Member join in order to get access to the list but service providers do not pay to be listed. Getting on Angie's List is a major thing for service providers. You can find everything from a painter to a dentist and then read so see what others have said.  

"Before Angie's List, selecting a service provider was like throwing darts blind folded. Those who report on Angie's List have helped me make informed, logical, educated decisions. I am truly grateful."
- Nancy B., St. Paul, Minn.

"When I had a problem with a service provider, Angie stuck up for me, and I got action immediately. I wish I would have called earlier!" 

• Hire A Helper:  We need some help with a few very heavy furniture pieces that are in our upper level.  When we looked for movers we found a website called Hire a Helper.  They have a list of movers, day laborers or cleaning services.  This website not only allows you to hiring a mover online,  it also has a section for people looking for work.  I really liked the review and rating system.  We hired movers for three hours to move large pieces of furniture.  This service does a lot for charity and 1% of their gross revenue goes to the International Justice Mission.
• Boxes:  We bought one large bundle of moving boxes from Costco.  The boxes were called Scotch Moving Kit for around $50.  It included bubble wrap, tape and 25 boxes of assorted sizes.  We also bought a bundle of small boxes from Uhaul.  Uhaul will take any boxes back you do not use.
• Pods:  We have having a Pod delivered the day before our mover come.  These portable on demand containers can be rented by the month or in some cases for only two weeks.  The company will set the container in the location of your choice and you load it at your own pace.  They then come and drop the Pod at your new location and you can unload without worrying about an extra charge from your movers.   Our family has used this service before when they were having hardwood floors installed.  The containers served as a storage unit in their driveway while the work was being completed.
• Moving Trucks: We will use a moving truck from Uhaul to supplement the Pod.  There are a number of different companies renting moving trucks.  What amazes me about these trucks is how reasonable they are.  Uhaul, Penske and Budget were the companies we compared online.  We are going to use Uhaul because they have a location close to us.  We will also rent a hand truck from them.
• Movers:  Why didn't we use a moving company?  We had a bad experience with movers last time so we are trying to do this on our own with our young family's help.  I can only advise you to check references carefully, buy the insurance that they offer and be available to watch the move itself.  We were told by our home owners insurance the move was covered.  When movers broke one box of antique china, the insurance company refused to pay citing movers negligence. Just check the options our carefully. 

     The fact that we can actually find people to work for us on a short term basis is a wonderful change from the situation 10 years ago.  When so many people are unemployed we were delighted to find that someone had been ingenious enough to gather people together that want to work even for a day.

     I will let you know how this goes.


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Related articles

• Interview: Angie Hicks of Angie's List (businessinsider.com)
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Dragging MOM and DAD Screaming/Kicking to a Smaller House

I remember a story written by the famous Norwegian writer Henrik Ibsen. In this short tale he told of parents taking their very old parents to the poor house. The young grandchildren came along for the journey. When it came time to leave the old people behind, they were given one blanket. A small child yelled "Wait!" and ran up and tore the blanket in half. The father asked "Why did you do that" and the child answered "I will need the other half when I bring you here when you are old."

The story of aging has changed a lot since the later part of the 19th century. But children still are feeling the need to take over their parents life. It could be that they are seeing themselves as the "caregiver" a long time before they need to. Here are some thoughts.

SEEN AND HEARD:

When should you suggest that your parents "Right Size" their lives? Let's say your mother and father are living in a five bedroom house and all the children have left the nest. The parents are approaching retirement. Is this the time to suggest a move?

WHEN ARE WE OLD?

I have a feeling that this all boils down to when the parent and the child feels a person is too old to live in such a house. In a recent survey released by Pews Research Center Publication called Growing Old in Amerca: Expectation VS Reality, the disparity between when an 18-29 year old thinks a person is old and what a middle aged person sees "old" are markedly different. The younger people feel that a person is old at the age of 60. The middle aged person gives themselves another 12 years moving "old" up to 72. Children also saw aging as much worse that what parents actually experienced.

So lets say, for example, you are in your early thirties and your parents still live in a very large house. You may feel that the time has come for them to get a smaller place so they can age in place in something that will be more practical in years to come. You still see 60 as old. Your parents who are approaching their mid to late fifties are thinking that the best is yet to come. They may be even be thinking of converting a bedroom into an exercise room and another into an office. Mom may have always dreamed of a craft room. They are looking forward to enjoy this home all by themselves for a few more years. It all boils down to the perception of when they are indeed old. I am 67. My 72 year old husband and I chose to downsize, not because of health issues but because we wanted a three story town house. We would have remained in our 4 bedroom home a lot longer if we had not chosen to move to a nearby city. The point is we moved when we were ready. We do not believe in "aging in place". Besides we are still healthy and feel very young.

WHO HELPS WHO?

The other thing that Pew's pointed out was the different perceptions of how much parents help their children monetarily and with child care. It seems that 51% of parents said they had helped their children with money in the past year. Parents still see themselves as needed in both these areas. What I read into that statistic was that the parents still see themselves as wiser than their children and really are not willing to listen to a child's advice or concerns. The communication is just not there
.
HOW TO WORK THE ANSWERING MACHINE:

Pew's research actually showed that parents do not depend on children very much until they are quite old. At the age of 85 a full 80% are still living independently. As for asking for help with errands and other assistance, 42 % of those over 65 say they have had help. Now, I will add here that I have know quite a few older people that will ask their children for help as a plea for attention. When they cannot get their son or daughter to visit, they will call and ask them to come and show them how to work the answering machine. The children worry because their parents have forgotten how to do this function and come to see them. The parents have gotten what they want. My thinking is, if they truly have forgotten such a basic thing, children do need to be more attentive. But, usually, if there is no one to help, most old people can figure out just about anything.

WHAT IS THE ANSWER

So, when do you begin to talk with your parents about down sizing. Maybe never. I know, you have an idea what you want to do when you are at or approaching retirement. But this is where Pew's saw the biggest discrepancy. They called it the Generation Gap, Circa 2009. Pews cited work ethic, morals and values as the areas where the gaps appear. It could be that because young people are mobile in ways that the older generation never were, they do no have the attachment to a place. Seniors see "down sizing" as a giant leap from what they know to what they do not know or understand. For my generation, friendships were forever, most people did not leave or go to exotic places. Our value system was based on home, friends and family. Pressing a parent to move too soon really might take them out of their comfort zone. They are probably thinking that they would like to take it one step at a time. They will know when it is time. My generation likes security....a lot! AND in the end the children really cannot MAKE their parents do anything...not as long as they are healthy and of sound mind.

If you are a senior reading this, I would love your input. If you are a young person trying to figure a senior out, I hope you find this useful. I would love to hear your questions.

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Down Sizing or Rightsizing? It's all in the attitude.

This is the house
my grandmother and grandfather
moved into 60 years ago when they "right sized" their life.

I was going through my twitter twits this afternoon when I noticed a blog link from the Red Stone Community in Alhambra, California. I think you all may find it very interesting.

Rightsizing Your Life is that move we all make where we decide that the children are not going to come home with three children of their own and a giant dog! While our culture may call it downsizing the truth is we are choosing to life in a house that fits our lifestyle now. See...it is all in the attitude. Take a look at this article and then check out the book on Amazon.com.

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Rightsizing Your Live: Simplifying Your Surroundings While Keeping What Matter Most (Paperback) by Kiji Ware Author is available at Amazon.com