Sunday, August 5, 2012

Putting the words back in my mouth: On being OLD and WISE

Posted on Sunday Scribblings:  Wise
The barber was the best listener of all...wise and quiet!

When we were children, I think we all aspired to be good when we grew up.  Poems like The Wise Old Owl created an image in our minds of listening more and talking less.  Then we grew up and we found out it was not nearly as easy as we thought it would be.  The nursery rhyme/poem went like this:

A Wise Old Owl
A wise old owl lived in an oak
The more he saw the less he spoke
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we be like that wise old bird?

Unfortunately it takes a whole lifetime to become as wise as the owl. By that time a lot of harm can be done. In my family we always called the malady the foot in our mouth syndrom.  You know. The one where you say things that you have said all your life without hurting someone's feelings and then you let the words out at the wrong time only to be rebuked or scolded. I have had this happen a lot several times.

I am a small town woman born and bred. There is no getting away from the fact that I was raised in a tough all be it diverse atmosphere.  I honestly did not know anything about ethnic groups or cultures.  My neighbors and friends were not of Swedish/German descent like me.  So then I suppose that made my family the minority in town.

The worst cultural slur I ever heard was that a certain nationality hung their wash clothes by the corners instead of square like they were suppose to be. Honestly. In that world lazy was lazy, dirty was dirty and smart was smart.

So as an adult I will say things not realizing that what I am saying might offend anyone.  But let it be known I don't make the same mistake twice. Sadly, I can never put the words back!  Once they are out there they float around in the air and inside peoples heads doing damage long after my mouth is closed!

Am I becoming wise in my old age?  Have I found a way to sort the things out that are not correct given the company I am in?  Probably not!  But it remains alway true that my heart is sad if I hurt anyone's feeling!  Like the wise old owl I am learning to listen more and talk less!

b

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Montessori for Dementia revisited...more links and information!

Remembering to Close the Gate
Have your ever gone to the basement to get a can of tomatoes and could not remember what you where doing in the basement?  It is a very common thing.  Remembering where we are going and, more importantly, why we went there can be a challenge.

I am personally never going to know if I am getting worse in the memory department because I have left my glasses, purse, credit card and phone in seven states and Canada!  I am a very absent minded person. I have always been this way so how will I detect a change?

This whole conversation brings us back to the post from yesterday talking about Montessori for Dementia and how that program helps people with diminished memory regain part of the knowledge they have lost.  It seems to me that if you are a spouse dealing with this problem, you might be well served to begin leaving clues that help both you and your partner remember stuff (a big scientific word) and things.

We were talking with friends at lunch today about how we gave ourselves clues for remembering what needs to be done.  Things can be left in small sorted piles on the stairs so you can put them away when you go up or down stairs...desk items, notes, memos about phone calls...towels, clothes and shoes...you probably have your own system but you know what I mean.  My friend then said that she does that.  When she goes upstair to get pink thread she will pick up the laundry to put away then wonder what she came upstairs for in the first place.  She now recites a mantra....pink thread-pink thread-pink thread-pink thread...all the time she as she is putting things away.

Montessori methods probably are more a part of our lives than we can imagine.  For example, patterns for mundane tasks we do on a daily basis are very helpful.   Have you ever left your card behind at the ATM?  I bet if you asked the people inside your bank how many times customers leave their card in the machine in a month you would be surprised.

If we could all share how we are coping with those things that are problems for ourselves or someone we love, it might help someone else.  Be sure to revisit August 3 blog post.  Or visit Montessori Methods to to Treat People with Dementia for information on this subject.  You might also read "So simple, it's genius.(Cameron Camp, director of The Myers Research Institute usage of Montessori approach for people with dementia)(Interview): An article from: Nursing Homes. There are also a number of books available that might help:  Books on Montessori Methods for Dementia.

I think I am done talking about this for a while.  Pass the word by a Twitter post or on your Facebook account.  Who knows, someone might need a little boost.

b

Friday, August 3, 2012

A Must Read: The Little Old Lady Stays Put article on #Montessori for #Dementia

I want you to go visit The Little Old Lady Stays Put: Other Voices: Montessori for Dementia. LOL post quotes a letter written to a woman that is living with a husband that is suffering from the early stages of dementia citing a program that uses Montessori for Dementia patients. 

Montessori teaching methods was developed by Italian Maria Montessori in 1900 and is an education method based on the principle that children can teach and guide themselves to learn if they are given manipulatives that provide a pathway leading to the knowledge they need to acquire. This type of education has been used widely in recent years and students are receiving a wonderful education while being both physically and intellectually involved.

As I understand the program as it is applied in the case of dementia, the key is to provide physical clues that assist the patient complete tasks and games thus helping them retain and relearn skills they have had in the past.


 In an article written for Human Kinetics they had this to say about dementia patients:
The most important message is that people with dementia are still people—there is a person behind the dementia.... People with dementia need an environment that places the information they need into the environment (such as directional signs, information about when loved ones will visit, templates that provide directions to help them complete an activity and reminders about things they need to do). When you take this supportive environment into consideration, and create a world where they have roles, routines, and activities that are created at their level of ability and suited to their needs and interests, you find a normal person who wants to be engaged in life. Always remember that a person with dementia is a person with a past, a present, and a future. The challenge is to create a purposeful, meaningful world where the person with dementia can enjoy each day with dignity and hope for a better tomorrow.
I know that as we age dementia or Alzheimer is a worry that lingers in the back of our minds...the thought that we or someone we know may suffer from memory problems and emotional disabilities is just unthinkable.  But it does happen.  You know that I think you need to be armed with the best information possible.  Here is just one piece of the puzzle.

The person that wrote the letter to The Little Old Lady is a Canadian educator working for DementiAbility Enterprises Inc.  Take a look at the article and then look at the articles on Montessori for Dementia in the Google search.


b

Thursday, August 2, 2012

5 Great ways to ensure debt free retirement…..

Wipe our DebtWipe our Debt (Photo credit: Images_of_Money)

Filed under:  When the experts speak...

2008 will cement its place in history as the birth of a global financial crisis as the rise in consumer living costs stirred with heavy cuts in employment and income reductions for the average hardworking family.  The traditional model of family finance peaks at retirement when there is the beautiful moment of the release from work and life’s pressures, providing a harmonious time to enjoy the easy life with your pool of sustainable assets and trust fund savings.

Although this has been the real dream for many, the level of family debt has risen steadily over the past decade leading to deeper questions surrounding financial management and living within your means. Many have now retired with debts that have blunted the thrill of retirement, whilst in contrast; good financial planning will invaluably aid your goal to retire debt free. 

Here are five methods to consider within contemporary financial management. 

  1. 1. Preparation andContingency Planning.  Living within the means of your income should include providing 10% of shared gross income into a contingency fund; this can then be used for the unexpected scenarios of divorce, illness or business failure. If a tough situation like this arises then acquiring swift finance is both challenging and costly in the longer term. This contingency fund further provides you with a useful savings trust if it is not required in your hour of need. 
  2. Tax Efficiency and Re-balancing debts. The levels of debt can be reduced by meticulous planning and monitoring of tax payments to ensure only obligatory payments are made on your income and assets.  Business debt and rental property for those on the higher tax bracket can be removed from taxable income and should be a slimmer priority for those in the higher tax bracket.
  3. Constructing a Budget. The budget construction should be methodically planned on an annual basis considering all incoming and outgoings and representing the disposable income available on all monetary investments. A budget plan can also shine a light on your largest outgoings and identify where changes in cash flow could be made. Tracking your spending can also be highly valuable when identifying the cash flow changes over a significant period of time. 
  4.  Prioritizing Debt and Earning. All debt is bad debt, but categorizing the importance of each debt based on interest is one way to prioritize payments. Paying of the smallest bills first can allow you to avoid future interest, and is a useful debt reduction strategy as you will also accomplish removing a bill from the list of outgoings.
  5. Prioritize Importance and Monetary Philosophy. Capital investment after covering the necessary areas of education, food and maintenance should consider a philosophical approach to spending.  Whilst there is the pressing urge to acquire that new wide screen TV, a weekend away with your partner could become a far more valuable investment for the relationship strength it provides and an ability to make tough decisions as a team.
Author Bio – James Barnett is a writer on behalf of Cooper Matthews analysing contemporary wealth management for families across the UK.

This is a sponsored informational post.

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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

14 Inexpensive LITTLE vacation ideas!

Rimskycorsicoffee House, Eastside of Portland
Destination Coffee shop with no sign!  Look it up!

Exploring the Local Max Line to see a new
part of Portland
I was talking with a friend today.  He has been retired for many years and says that now he has no idea when he found time to work!  Hospice, golf, golf marshaling so he can golf, church and family keep him very busy. You probably know exactly what he means.  What we all need is a vacation from retirement!

Why?  Well it seems to me that even a very bad short vacation is better than none.  We return to our house grateful that it has not burned down while we were gone.  The change of scenery or new food inspires us.  We have something new to talk and laugh about.

So have you ever looked around to see what you might do to get away on a regular basis so your life has some variety.  Here are a few things you might consider:
  1. An overnight stay in a hotel in your city.  Dinner, window shopping, a show and a late night drink.  You don't need to worry about the drive home so enjoy yourself.  Be sure to check Living Social or Groupon for specials.
  2. How about working in a national park for the summer.  You can earn some cash and escape the heat if you live somewhere that is very hot.
  3. If you own an RV you can stay for free in state or national parks and volunteer as a camp host. I have friends that have done that very thing year after year.
  4. Volunteer for a vacation.  I have known people that have gone done this at church camps or other outdoor camps.  They have had a lot of fun and been useful while they were at it.
  5. Take advantage of one of those timeshare offerings.  You can get a free night in a hotel and maybe even a round of golf on the house.  If you are smart and can resist a sales pitch you are golden.
  6. Make your sports team your vacation.  We love to travel to Seattle, stay overnight and take in a Mariners game. 
  7. Go for a picnic at a local winery or park...the picnic is a lost art it seems to me.  I have such good memories of good food, a swim in a pool next to the park and taking a nap on the lawn.  Go for a picnic.
  8. Gather the family for a drive-in movie.  Bring food and drinks and settle back for some fun.
  9. How about a cook book vacation at home...I saw Ina Garten recreate a day in Paris with food.  How fun would it be to invite a few friends over and have a party with the theme "Paris". 
  10.  My son and his family went camping in the back yard...the indoors were off limits unless the time came for a potty break...no outdoor toilets! Grandparents could do the same thing!  Really, it would be fun!
  11. TV can be an inspiration for a short get away.  Here in Portland we have several movies and shows filmed locally.  How about a day finding the location for Grimm and taking lots of pictures. Or what if you looked up the Rachael Ray episode she filmed in you area and visited the restaurants she ate at.
  12. Along this same line how about checking out Fodor and Frommers travel guides  for your state from the library and see if they have any suggestions for fun things to do in your area.  You could become an expert...wouldn't that be cool 
  13. Get a group of your favorite people together to take a group picture...make it an occasion for everyone and dress for a theme.  You will find people asking for it to become a tradition.  Take little day trip to the destination so it is a getaway. 
  14. A Bobby Flay throw down is a lot of fun. We did this with potato salad one summer. Everyone in the family voted and I lost.  Be careful not to be the winner if you are doing this with the family...you will be stuck with making that wonderful potato salad for the rest of your life.  Pick an unexpected place to set up your barbecue...a pop up thrown down would bring the whole neighborhood alive...do it in the cul de sac or pocket park near you.
So what you need is a break.  You really don't need three weeks in the Galapagos like Brad and Angelina.  No, I prefer a shorter break or even just a party.  After all we are retired!

Have fun!

We took a day trip to Astoria, Oregon to visit the very old
Astor Hotel!
b
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Monday, July 30, 2012

Some Days!!!! or Your Shoes Don't Match!

I was trying to get an article for Blog Critics whipped into shape so Jon Sobel, the guy in charge could publish it...my cat decided I needed to up really early...my daughter is out of town and her dog has to be put out in the morning and in at night...I really want  a new pair of running (walking) shoes.

The cat shows up at 7:15 am, sits by my bed and meows until I get up and turn the water on in the sink just a little so he can drink.  Remind me again why we have a cat!

I really wanted to have this article published on Blog Critics so when I turned on my ipad and saw an email from them I jumped on it in a hurry.  It took me all day to figure out that I need to close the window to the website before they can see anything...very frustration.

I needed to put my daughter's dog out and got dressed hurridly(can't spell) fast.  As I was heading out the door I looked down and this is what I saw!


Yes, they are the same brand but still.  You would think that I could multitask by now but obviously I am not getting it right.  

But never let it be said that I am too busy to shop for shoes...no siree!  
Have a wonderful day!

b

Sunday, July 29, 2012

#Agism: @FabOverFifty's Geri Brin's Vision of Aging made me feel ill!

Is there a law against discriminating on the basis of age?  I can't remember. I am thinking this morning that there is no way to control what people think about aging but there needs to be some self-control when it come to writing about it. See I know that being old is not a handicap nor a disease that can be avoided by being clean or eating right. It is a reality that we will all face sooner or later...I for one am hoping to actually live to be old and wise.

So when I read When I'm 84!, a blog post on Fab Over Fifty, I wanted to say "Did the founder of FOF really write and post this?". 


FOF is a website created and is now edited by the 64+ year old Geri Brin. As part of her responsibility on the website, Brin writes Geri's Blog.  The blog is not unlike any of our blogs.  It is suppose to reveal what is going on inside the head of the writer.  She is a very successful business woman.  She says in her short bio....
....I also wrote for publications such as New York Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Harper’s Bazaar, Town & Country, Parents Magazine,the New York Daily News Magazine and daily paper, and co-authored two books, Kid's Stuff and Figure It Out! I became an entrepreneur in 1998 and published magazines for Liz Claiborne and Charming Shoppes, and launched Bene, a magazine about Italian Life and Style that garnered a silver Folio Award. 
My blog is about what I'm doing and thinking, and gets pretty personal at times. It's about FOFs I meet all over the place. It's about my take on current events and people as well as on things that happened "back in the day." I never plot and plan what I'm going to write. I'm a pretty off-the-cuff FOF. 
Those of us that live in the real world are impressed by this sort of resume and admire such an accomplished women.  I have commented several times on her blog and followed her sporadically over the last couple of years.  I even bought a FOF membership once so I could try out new beauty products.  After applying for a "guru" status I was accepted but never really did anything with it.

These were the images she included in the blog post!
Then Geri wrote the blog post that stopped me in my tracks.  When I'm 84! painted the view she had of old people and how they behave. I cringed because I wondered if that is what people would think of me. I am 71+  She created a list of things she did not want to do when she was 84.  It included things like:
  • Have three hairs on my head and no desire to do anything about it,
  • Have a crotchety disposition,
  • Wear makeup that looks like a two-year old applied it,
  • Have a tummy that makes me look like I’m the oldest living pregnant woman in the history of the world,
AND
  • Stand at a supermarket, drug store, or any other checkout counter and keep the whole line waiting while I figure out where my money is.
I am trying to understand how she came to a place where she did not understand that saying these things out loud could offend people. Being old is something that we cannot change. 


I think that those of us that might be lucky enough to live to the grand old age of 84, still shop all be it slowly, have any hair left and make the effort to apply makeup can safely say that Geri needs to get out more.  She needs to spend some time with active old people and understand that a lot of what happens to us is not a choice. 


No amount of Pilate's or vegetarian diet can change the fact that 84 or 90 is a different stage in our lives and not so much about our protruding tummies as it is about what goes on inside our heads. Some old people value their appearance and some do not!  

Now this is where the isolation of the elderly is leaving society with a skewed vision of what aging is all about. The boomer generation is under the misconception that they will somehow not get old.  I guess I am begging people like Geri or all of my Studio30 Plus friends to stop and think about what they are saying.  If you are person of influence, think for a minute and realize that what you write about can be very hurtful. That is called being respectful. Ridicule does not work.

Please add this to Twitter, Linkedin or any other social media you subscribe to.  The discussion need to be carried forward. And, if you have any suggestions for what Geri or anyone like her could do in the situations she listed that might help others,  please leave a comment.

b  


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