Reinvention for Women Age 50+

I am pleased to have Susan Tolles as my guest blogger today. Susan is an Expert in Midlife Reinventions who inspires and equips women around the world to flourish inside and out. As a website creator, published author, speaker and life coach, Susan helps women celebrate and enrich their true inner and outer beauty as they age with grace and vitality. Her website FlourishOver50.com, viewed by thousands of women globally each month, provides the resources and tools to make the second half of their lives their best.

Susan is a published author, contributing to the collaborative booksInspired Women Succeed and The Unstoppable Woman's Guide to Emotional Well-Being. Both are available on her websites or on Amazon.

Susan lives in Austin, Texas, has been married for over 33 years and has three incredible children. She has worn many hats in her life and has personally experienced her own amazing midlife transformation, proving that it is never too late to discover your purpose and follow your dreams.

Visit Susan’s websites: www.FlourishOver50.com and www.MyPowerfulMe.com 

Reinvention for Women Over 50

Women over 50 are changing themselves along with the world. Retirement is not even on their radar, and they are not going to stay home, go to book club, play bridge and watch the world go by as their mothers did at this age. That will come much later. Now, they are reinventing themselves for something better and taking on life with a new spirit and tenacity that is making them more visible, giving them new confidence and bringing excitement into what was once a dull life-stage for women their age.

But how do they do it? How do women over 50 reclaim their “identity” after the empty nest? What does it take for a midlife woman to take a big leap of faith to leave a career she has had for years in order to do something she really loves to do?

As I experienced my own do-over, a woman’s reinvention brought on by her own “midlife crisis” can be summed up in three phases:

• I’m done. A woman in her 50′s realizes that she has been focusing on others for so long, saying yes to everything out of obligation, while carrying unfulfilled dreams deep in her soul. She must say “I’m done!” then give herself permission to focus on herself for a change. Forgiveness and overcoming guilt are also important parts of this step. 
• Now what? Once she is truly “done” with looking at the past, it is time for her to reconnect with her passions, to discover her new life purpose, and to set some goals for herself that will make her stretch. It is time for her to empower herself with a plan for an extraordinary future as she looks forward to the next few decades. For this woman over 50, the possibilities are endless, and she embraces change with enthusiasm. 
• Kick butt! With her newfound “Joie de vivre” the woman over 50 is taking on the world with a fierce determination that she will not be considered old, that she will look and feel her very best, and that the best years are yet to come. She has a renewed energy as she “kick’s butt” wearing stilettos instead of house slippers, choosing networking luncheons over afternoon bridge club. She is creating a life for herself doing the things she loves to do, allowing herself to be creative about her future. This fearless midlife woman takes care of her own needs, instead of being on the bottom of her to-do list, knowing that she will be a much better person in every area if she is continuing to explore the possibilities and grow. 

Yes, even a woman can experience a midlife crisis stage, often brought on by a deep realization that her life is half over and now it is time to focus on what is truly important. Her needs are not satisfied by purchasing material things, but instead are rooted in a deep desire to do something meaningful with her life, to leave a legacy that reaches beyond her children, and to reach the end of her life not saying “I just wish I had…”

If you are over 50 and longing to live with more passion and purpose, here are a few steps to get you started on your own reinvention.

• Make a list of the things you are passionate about, the things that “light your fire.” 
• Make a list of your gifts and skills. Ask others to help you if you get stuck. 
• Make another list of the things you DON’T want to do any more. 
• Picture yourself at 90 years old, telling your great-grandchildren about your life. What are you most proud of in the last 40 years? What do you want to be remembered for? 
• Write a life purpose statement for yourself, including what you want to do (see the first two points above) and who you want to impact 
• Make a list of goals that will stretch you and make you grow 
• Surround yourself with cheerleaders who will support you along the way 
• Celebrate your newfound enthusiasm! 

If you need a little extra encouragement or help with strategizing, please contact me at Susan@FlourishOver50.com.

Oregon Backroads...all roads lead to Vernonia

There is a standing joke here in the northwest corner of Oregon that all roads lead to Vernonia. I don't why that is so because let me tell you Vernonia is not the cultural center of the western world.  The small community lays claim to the only hardware store I know of that sells liquor and has a big sign in front to prove it.  Hardware and Liquor Store it says proudly.  I don't know about you but in my world power tools and liquor should not be combined even in a sentence.  But there it is...right at the end of main street in Vernonia.

vernonia-ore.gov

When you are traveling west toward the Pacific Ocean you can start in the center of Portland and make the decision which way you want to go...north along the Columbia River or a little further south on the Sunset Highway.  Either way you are going to see signs sending you to Vernonia.  It is just weird.  The little community has a main street about three blocks long, the beautiful Nahalem River runs just at the edge of town and every lawn is cut to the perfect length.  Driving over this back road north and south through the coast range is one of the most delightful drives you can make. Even though the logging industry has scalped many of the ridges bare there are miles of lush fern laden rain forest to satisfy anyone's need for green.  I suppose a person should go that way before there is nothing left but stumps on every hillside because a great deal of the land is owned by the logging industry.

So where is Vernonia? Well I think it is in the middle of everywhere.  From Portland it is halfway to the coast.  From the coast it is halfway to Portland.  From the Columbia River it is halfway to the Sunset Highway. From the Sunset it is halfway to four places along the Columbia.  A road from Vernonia north can take you to Claskinie, another to St. Helens,  yet another to Ranier, or  yet another to Scappose.  Yes there are four different roads because it is true.  Here in northwest Oregon all roads lead to and from Vernonia.

So there you have it.  Another backroad drive with a hardware/liquor store thrown in for good measure.

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More backroad stories:

Backroads in Oregon...let's go to the drive-in!
Fall Colors in Oregon Wine Country...Red Ridge Farms
Backroads near Portland, Oregon

Travel Blogs, Mark Twain and me #1b140_2

Just when I begin to think I have a grip on who and what I am, someone like Mark Twain comes along and bursts my bubble.  It really makes it very hard to be me.

Me at the Alacazaba, Spain, 2001
another innocent abroad!

I have been reading Twain's Innocents Abroad this last week.  I was prompted to do so after deciding to follow 1 Book in 140 Characters (#1book140) on twitter.  It is a book club for people from around the world.  Their last read was Mark Twain's book.

Click image 

The Innocents Abroad, or The New Pilgrims' Progress is a travel book by American author Mark Twain published in 1869 which humorously chronicles what Twain called his "Great Pleasure Excursion" on board the chartered vessel Quaker City (formerlyUSS Quaker City) through Europe and the Holy Land with a group of American travelers in 1867. It was the best selling of Twain's works during his lifetime and one of the best selling travel books of all time. (wikipedia).

If you have ever taken a trip that you thought of as "a great adventure" you could relate to every word Train has written.  Everything from his description of the over zealous journal writers to the euphoria a traveler experiences when visiting a exotic foreign country for the first time...it is all there.  Nothing, really, nothing has changed since 1867.

It was the section on the "Old Traveler" that brought me to tears.  I didn't know if I was laughing because I thought it was funny or laughing because I might have recognized myself in his words.  He said:

But we love the Old Travelers....they open their throttle valves, and how they do brag and swell.... But still I love the Old Travelers, I love them for their witless platitudes, for their supernatural ability to bore, [and for] their delightful asinine vanity.... 

When Twain used words like asinine and vanity and their central aim is to subjugate you I realized that it could be that I love talking about my travels a lot more than you enjoy listening.  If that is true, it is not a good thing!

Still I need you to know I probably won't stop because talking about travel is part of my blogging journey. I may feel sorry for you just a little but it won't make any difference.  Just shoot me now!  Smile.

Please read this book if you have not already.  I is just a wonderful today as it was in 1867! You can download it free from Amazon or read it online.

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By the way I went over 100,000 page views yesterday.  Now if just 30% of those people stop and read a few lines I will be happy.

The "housekeeper fairy" is dead! Sigh!

I am sorry but I have been married for 51 years and all of these years I truly  believed that the
"housekeeping fairy" was going to come and clean up the mess.  Hence the mess!  Now I am 70 and fully aware that there is no such thing as a "housekeeping fairy".  My husband just told me night before last.  Imagine my disappointment.  I mean it was hard for him too...breaking the bad new and all but still, I am the one that really was shocked.

After a little thought I had the courage to say, "Well, I guess we are going to have to share the chores around here. If the housekeeping fairy is not coming, someone is going to need to scrub toilets and clean up dishes."  It turns out, he does the yard/garage and I have been give a very special job.  I will be doing the fairy jobs from now on....darn!

Giggle!

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I'm Retired...How come I have all these jobs? New Stuff I'm Doing!

Here is the thing...we are doing three jobs at once.  That sort of thing was hard 30 years ago but now we are in our 70's and it turns out nothing has changed!  It is still hard work. We are like butterflies flitting from bush to bush.  Maybe that explains why I am happy!  We are:

• Painting son's condo ceiling...big leak stained open floor plan lower level.  There is at least 700 square feet of surface.  Ceiling white did not cover with one coat.  It is a pain in the neck...a real pain in the neck. 
• Working on a flag stone patio.  It is half finished and stones are stacked waiting for us to finish the job. 
• Our new cork floor has arrived and the boxes are stored under our bed so they can warm up. My husband is measuring and planning.  

Cinderella's Ballerina Slipper?
GIFT ITEM FROM GIFT BOOMER

NEW BLOG...GIFT BOOMER

On top of all that, I have added two components to my blogging routine. A new blog was opened last week featuring nothing but gifts...Gift Boomer was an idea I hatched in the night. This way I can shop for you.  A new gift idea appears everyday. My market is YOU...you heard me. Everything I pick is something a grown up would want.  If you are a grandparents that has visiting grandchildren, I have ideas for you too. I hope you take a look. If you see something you like click the link and see if it might be just what you want.

RETIRE IN STYLE DAILY NEWSPAPER NOW OUT

A newspaper has been added to my expanding online world.  Retire In Style Daily News features small snippets of articles my twitter followers have posted.  It is generated automatically by Paper.li but I edit what I want and don't want my readers to see.  If you are interested in the possibility of being featured, follow me at barbblogtwits and send me your articles on twitter to @barbblogtwits. 

NEW PHOTOGRAPHY APP...JUST BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO DO

I bought Snapseed for my desktop computer today.  I use this app on my ipad and love, love it.  If you like to fiddle around with your pictures, I think the $19.95 is worth your money.  It is a lot of fun!

JUST A THOUGHT

I read that if bloggers want there readers to help them they should tell the reader what to do.  Here goes:

• Click the followers button in the left sidebar.
• Click the Google+ button at the bottom of the blog.
• Leave a comment if you want to add to the conversation.
• Please, oh please, come on back soon.  I love to have company.

PS

The doggone ants have moved into my house and are driving me nuts.  Yes I am clean and no I don't leave food crumbs around.  I may have to call an exterminator if things don't get better.  Oh by the way ants don't like the rain either.  They move inside in the droves on a misty day!  Yuck!

Have a great day.

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Is AARP lossing It's Grip on Seniors? What is next?

What does the logo symbolize?

When I published the guest post from the 48-year-old guy that had received his first invitation to AARP, I wondered if AARP had lost its appeal.  While the organization has a huge political clout, the fact that they still look the same after all these years has me wondering...is AARP  moving too slow while the boomer generation drives by thumbing their collective noses at them?  Is the generation that rules the world declining their invitation to grow old?

It is not so much what AARP does as how it looks and what it symbolizes.  Like the 48-year-old guy, anyone that gets the dreaded envelop holding the invitation to join, the appearance of the AARP logo has them thinking "I can't be old yet! I am only_____ years old."  Nature will not tolerate a vacuum and the one left by people turning away from a the "symbol" of AARP is going to be filled by a group that appeals to those people beginning the second part of their adulthood...they want a new symbol for the next stage in their lives.  That big generation coming down the track is not going to settle for anything less than a symbol that screams Active and Meaningful and Full of Life.

Now I see that PBS has a new website called called *Next Avenue.  The website description says simply When Grown-ups Keep Growing.  The focus for the group is not growing old.  It instead talks about learning, working and staying involved.  I received an email from Encore Careers, another wonderful organization, talking about Next Avenue.  It said:

Dear Friend, 

Just because you’re grown up, doesn’t mean you’re done growing. That’s the idea behind the new PBS website Next Avenue:  

• http://www.nextavenue.org Aimed at the 50-plus set, Next Avenue focuses on topics people may experience differently in this stage in life, including health, finances, work, leisure and caregiving.  

We’re most excited about the Work & Purpose section. Encore.org is contributing stories about pursuing an encore career for the greater good – how to assess your skills, questions to ask when looking for a nonprofit job, building your professional network and more. Check out our contributions here:

• http://www.nextavenue.org/partners/encoreorg   There is also a rich video section that draws from PBS’s immense library – and ours. You’ll see: “Money Tips to Make it Through a Layoff,” “Job Searching at 59” and “Launching a Consulting Business.” Sprinkled throughout are video profiles of Purpose Prize winners, a great source of inspiration. 

Spend some time on Next Avenue and tell us what you think at info@encore.org.
Where will your next avenue lead? 

Sincerely,
Michele
Michele Melendez
Editor, Encore.org

Don't you love that? "Just because you've grown up doesn't mean you're done growing"?  Really, just because we have passed any benchmark in our life doesn't mean we are done...retirement or turning 70 or graduating college is not the end of anything, they are a new beginning. We are not done growing until we are done. Are you paying attention? Maybe we will be seeing more of these younger feeling organizations for this generation.

I think that if AARP is losing it's appeal, is it because people have the idea that AARP equals just growing old. The image of someone filling our needs does not make any generation feel useful and needed.  I didn't get the feeling that the 48-year-old guy was interested in making it better or easier to grow old.  Not even one bit.  He is probably more interested in growing and learning and being better and doing it for a very long time. That is what I feel Next Avenue and Encore is offering...an avenue to the next beginning on the way to becoming a better human being.

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 I invite you to watch this video from Encore Careers...advertisers could learn a thing or too from this beautiful, simple, creative short video about big opportunities for our second adulthood:

Thoughts on @BlogHer Article: Taking away Mom's Keys

Did I tell you that I needed to practice driving when I returned to Portland? It seems that my husband had driven all winter in Arizona and even when I do drive down there. it is very easy. Driving in the Portland Metro area is not. I told my children about this because I wanted them to know. It is a worry for me. I guess that is why this article on BlogHer hit a nerve. It was called Taking Away Mom's Keys. 

The story went like this:
Sandra Tyler is a writer and owns a blog called A Writer Weaves a Tale. Tyler wrote this morning about her mother. Her mother, age 93, was summoned to the Motor Vehicle Department because they felt the need to see if her driving skills were up to par. After being tested for her skills while driving, the elderly woman lost her license because her driving scared the tester so badly it made her ill. The old woman pleaded for her freedom to drive. "I don't go far. But I need to go up this block, turn right, then a left here to get my mail and groceries." she told the official at the DMV Window 22. The daughter saw her mother humiliated in public and still faced the problem of taking away her car keys. The question left hanging in the air was at what age do seniors need to give up driving? I could only think about the day I myself face the dreaded official tending Window #22 at the DMV.

Earlier this winter I wrote a post about starting the conversation with my children about my diminishing skills as I age. I was thinking that there were things my children and I needed to discuss now and not later. It was called 5 Conversation Starters with My Children. The third item on that list was:

1. 3. How will you handle "traveling problems" if they should occur? This may include a discussion about whether we should even drive. (I also had in mind traveling with a suitcase overseas.)

If I were asked by a younger person how to handle the awkward situations they are going to face in the future with their parents, the two pieces of advice I would give them would be....

• Treat your parents like respected elders at all times 
• Start the discussions early. For example, don't wait until the day arrives when Mom or Dad cannot drive anymore. Talk about that dreaded day now. You will not regret it. 

You see, aging parents know when their driving skills are going south and it scares them too. They are afraid they will hurt someone and they are afraid of a world where they are isolated because they cannot drive. Parents also know when they should not live alone without assistance and when they need help with their finances. The real problem is that they have never talked about it with their children so no one knows how the others feel. I am sure it must be a horrible feeling for everyone. The ship is sinking and the children cannot talk the parent into getting in the lifeboat. They should have had a safety plan before they were set adrift at sea.

Start the conversations now, talk often and sincerely about worries and above all, keep a good sense of humor. It will get you through many a very rough spot. So there you have it...from the lips of a real expert.

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