Mothers Day is Coming...Shouldn't you be shopping?

Mothers Day is coming!  Here is a piece of advice...go buy a mother a gift.  If the mother is smart she will have already told you what she wants.  That is what I do and I have always told my children to tell their families what they want. How else are those poor clueless husbands, wives and children to know what to buy if someone doesn't give them a hint or push them out the door with directions to the nearest store? I know...it is just so obvious!

Shay...our newest Mother's Day Gift!

Here my list of things I need for Mother's Day 2012

1. A Rose bush...a very healthy rose bush.
2. Aveda Hand Relief  (I love their lotion but it is a big treat to have it.)
3. A book...a really good Award Winning Books.  I just found one that has instructions on how to write a children's book.  I liked that a lot.
4. Portable DVD Player...every grandma/mother wants one of these.  The kids have one so why can't we?
5. Promise of a dinner or lunch at a nice restaurant...not on Mother's Day but later!
6. A trip to the nail spa.
7. A pair of Toms Shoes...size 8.
8. Gift Card for Norstroms/Macys
9. A day of shopping for my grandchildren...children can tell me what to buy.  I would like that.
10. Roaring Brook Dairy Mozzarella Cheesemaking Kit  (I didn't know I wanted this until I went shopping online.  Wouldn't that be so much fun?

Click on any of these links to visit the website selling these items.  You can also wander around and find something else.  In many cases shipping is free.  Check that option out for sure.  

Can you do me a favor?  Click on the google+ badge below.  It helps a lot.  I also have an option to subscribe to the blog.  Do that if you want to get the latest posts.  

The Retire In Style Daily News is out...check it here

Have a great day.

b

Links:
10 things I Cannot Live Without
10 Gifts for Her
10 Best Christmas Gifts for Senior

What Two Broke Girls Sitcom and a POP UP boarding house have in common!

technorati tags: entertainment, communities

Recently I wrote about POP UP* communities and what the term has come to mean in the world at large. I find the whole concept fascinating.  In this economy people are being very creative in solving their financial problems.

Here in the area where I spend my summers a group of day laborers turn up on a corner near a community center every morning during the week and people drive up in their cars or pickups and hire someone to help them out with odd jobs.  I don't know if it is "legal" in the strictest sense of the word but it is a system that is working for everyone. It is a POP UP community that provided a service working outside of the regulations and ordinances. No harm no foul!  In POP UP community post I talked about other kinds of gatherings doing exactly the same thing.

A Pop Up Community is simply a temporary community of people that gather in an unexpected place.  It can involve an art show or just a patch of green turf and 8 lawn chairs set up in a parking lot [to point out the need for a park].  Out there in the world the idea may have sprung from the simple food trucks that inhabit communities across our nation.  

from Staying Smart.... Retire in Style Blog.

A TV show called Two Broke Girls had an episode using the POP UP business in the story line.  The show centered around the Two Broke Girls and their need for money because they couldn't pay their rent.  The girls opened a POP UP in the bathroom of a business to sell some very expensive purses they owned.  All they did was announce "pop store in restroom...purses for sale" in the elevator and women showed up to buy.  Problem solved!

Wow...wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all solve our housing woes that easily? But it isn't quite that simple especially if you are a senior that needs support to remain in your home. The idea of taking in a boarder has been around probably since the first widow was left with a house and no way to live without their husbands income.  I don't know about you but I have know women personally that did this very thing.  But there is a catch...it might be illegal!  There are laws and HOA regulations that regulate where and how we can run a business like a boarding house. 

Let's pretend that you have a house with spare bedrooms.  Your spouse left, died or simply grew too old to take care of the yard, etc. Do you have a choice about what you will do?  Is it imperative that you sell your home and move in a less desirable neighborhood or a small apartment?  Well maybe not.

The choices you make will depend on a number of things. The first will be how you are allowed to use the home you are living in. Do you live in a neighborhood that has HOA controls blocking subletting a room?  For example, my neighborhood does not allow young people to live with me for an extended period of time. In fact, there is a clause banning renting of any sort.  How about your city ordinances?  Do they tell you that you cannot rent a room or any space in your house while you are living there? Running a business out of your home is not condoned in most neighborhoods. These people are serious and do not take breaking their rules laying down. Neighbors will watch and report transgressions even if there is no harm.

That is where the "pop up" term appears. I have read about people that found "friends" that they have invited to stay with them. These people help with the lawn or garden, repair downspouts and gutters. They chip in on the groceries and make it possible for the owner of the house to remain where they are. Has the owner broken any laws because they have found a way to create a "pop up" solution for their problems? It all sounds so simple. It is just a group of people sharing a home, right?  But we must realize that for a person to do this sort of thing there must be a business arrangement or it could be a very bad situation. These "boarders" are more than casual roommates.  

I read a blog written by a woman whose husband is suffering from dementia. She is at a juncture where she is facing huge changes in her life. She invites people to share her home and her expenses. Does guilt follow her around each day? Yes it does. Not only is she feeling guilty because of the emotional roller coaster she is riding each day while taking care of a partner that is no longer what he should be. She is also sharing her house with other people to help her remain in her home. That could be illegal. But the fact remains that this business provides the support she needs and ease a little of the financial burden now resting directly on HER shoulders.  

I really have to admire her creativity and courage in the face of her dilemma. Her POP UP is a temporary business arrangement that has emerged to help her in her time of need. It turns out that the Two Broke Girls could be old as easily as they are young!

Maybe you know someone else that has faces this problem and found a different way to deal with it.  I would love to hear about it. Leave a comment and let's keep the conversation going.

Be well.

b
Link:  More Women Living Together in their 60's
(More information:  Cohousing Association)
Could you do me a favor and click the google+ below.  It helps a lot!
*Definition:  A Pop Up Community is simply a temporary community of people that gather in an unexpected place to do business or make a public statement.  Like a Lemonade Stand, a Food Truck or Occupy Wall Street.

Toms Shoes: Why every grandmother and granddaughter need a pair!

A while back I wrote an article for Blog Critics about ATT and their link with Toms Shoes.   ATT created an ad in 2009 that featured the Toms Shoes mission and their connection to ATT phone services. The story was about how Toms Shoes gives away one pair of shoes to children in developing countries for every one purchased. The cause started by Blake Mycoskie has come to be known as the One-for-One Movement.  The TV ad run by ATT was where many people learned about the concept for the first time. In 2006 Toms had sold 10,000 shoes.  By the end of 2010 they had sold their millionth pair.  The rest is history.

Toms Shoes website page

In 2006, American traveler Blake Mycoskie befriended children in Argentina and found they had no shoes to protect their feet. Wanting to help, he created TOMS Shoes, a company that would match every pair of shoes purchased with a pair of new shoes given to a child in need. One for One. Blake returned to Argentina with a group of family, friends and staff later that year with 10,000 pairs of shoes made possible by TOMS customers. from Tom's Shoes Movement

TOMS Shoes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I love Toms Shoes. I have worn a pair of these shoes for years.  I bought them shortly after seeing the original ad in 2009.  I still wear them when I am in Arizona. They are wash and wear. I don't know how long they would last but I have gotten my money back many times over...and a child somewhere is doing the same. As a grandmother that has seen children without shoes in third world countries I take a lot of satisfaction from that.  I am well aware that disease and infection are a problem for children with no shoes. In fact, children are required to have shoes in order to attend school in many places.  Shoes are important!

Now, it turns out, Toms has become very trendy with the teen set.  My granddaughter came to visit last night.  She will be 15 next month.  My Toms shoes came up in the conversation immediately.  It turns out that they are the in thing at her high school now and all the girls on the dance team are buying them.  Cool doesn't even come close to describing a pair of pink or sparkly Toms on the feet of a girl from the dance team walking down the halls at Glenco High School in Hillsboro, Oregon.

My daughter mentioned that Sketchers have a knock off shoe that looks the same and you can buy them at Target for a lot less!  I don't know if Sketchers is donating a pair of shoes to a child for every one they sell or not.  I am thinking not.  I was a little angry when I realized what they were doing.  Wouldn't that be a bit like using a knock off for the Walk for the Cure to make money but not do any good?  I will not be buying them even if they are cheaper or even better.  It really is just wrong in my world.

This is what I think...you need to go shopping with your granddaughter and you both need a pair of Toms.  You will never regret it and it is the right thing to do!

b

Note:  Toms are available on Amazon, Toms Shoes, and upper end retail stores.

Links:  Sketchers vs. Toms:  How Sketcher shot themselves in the foot!

Related articles

• Meet Blake Mycoskie (btinfodotme.wordpress.com)
• TOMS Shoes Video Teaches About Giving, and Viral Marketing (daveibsen.typepad.com)

They didn't call HGTV's Yard Crashers!

Back Patio's Summertime Look

Technorati Tags: HGTV, lifestyle, travel

Seriously, our front yard look like a neglected vacant lot when I arrived home from Arizona 2 weeks ago. I live in the Portland, Or. metro area.  Things grow here fast and well...even weeds. Six months with not one whit of care left our flower beds littered with leaves and a million sprouting maple seeds.  All I could think was that someone in the neighborhood could have called the HGTV Yard Crashers and tv cameras would appear.  The lady next door would tell the tv people how she could hardly wait for them to clean up the trash so she would have something beautiful to look at. I would be embarrassed.

If you are a snowbird that owns two places, you know what I am talking about. This is one of the dilemmas that faces us each year.  There is a need for us to keep our home's appearance up if for no other reason than to make it look as though someone is at home.  Nothing invites trouble more that a house that looks abandoned.

Timing is one solution that comes to mind right away.  Here in the northwest we can leave in late October and arrive back in late April.  The yard just sleeps while we are gone.  Even as bad as ours looked, the spring rains were keeping everyone else from doing more maintenance too.

Landscaping services really don't charge that much around here.  I have a neighbor that pays $60 a month to have her very small yard mowed and flowers trimmed or a tree shaped up once in a while.  That is something that would help a lot.

In some situations, a house sitter can be helpful.  The sitter can do some yard work as part of their sitting job.  I always dream I will come home to clean windows and maybe a house sitter would do that for me.  Golly, wouldn't that be nice.

So, HGTV has not shown up.  We have cleaned, raked, bagged leaves and planted 40 petunias.  It actually looks like someone lives here again.  Good for us!  As for the window, that remains for another time.

Have a lovely day.

b

Seniors Can Couch Surf Too...I'm told!

Nob Hill, San Francisco, California. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A fellow blogger, Bag Lady in Waiting , has been posting about couch surfing.  She and her husband are busy people promoting a book they have written about his experiences in Vietnam and traveling.  But this last week they decided to do a little trip into the south and use the opportunity to find out about that couch surfing thing.


Couch Surfing has a website for those that love the adventure of getting to know new people.  The first time I read about it was back in 2009 so it has been around for a while.  The website is recommended by NYTs, Frugal Traveler, Time and NPR.  You will get information for places to stay based on your profile, activities in the city you will be visiting and even people that are doing things and want you to come along. The Bag Lady traveled with her husband and stayed several night with people along their route.  Some they could talk politics with and some they couldn't.  It was an adventure I think.  Now they are on their way to establishing a network of people that can refer them to others in the couch surfing community. They seemed to enjoy it but said that one or two nights in a row was enough...it could be very tiring.

I love the columns written about this experience.  I have found stories about everything from glowing reports to nightmare experience.  The one I liked the best was one written for The New Yorker.  The author talked about his experience trying to find someone that had a couch that appealed to him.  He said:

Among those to whom I did not write “couch requests” were “a travelling magician and professional fool” from New Mexico; a sixty-three-year-old gay semi-retired handyman in Pahoa, Hawaii, whose mission is “looking for more nudists” (there are plenty of “clothing optional” possibilities on CouchSurfing); another Hawaiian, this one describing himself as “just a guy who has three acres of land, living in a shipping container house”; a woman in Bozeman, Montana, who declared that her “home is oppression-free. Yay!” and also contains high-speed Wi-Fi; a thirty-one-year-old female “daydreamer” from Berkeley who loves pajamas; a Tarot-card reader in Marfa, Texas; a housewife in Charleston, South Carolina, who owns a pole-dancing studio called Dolphin Dance;

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/04/16/120416fa_fact_marx#ixzz1soy7qOx7

He ended up selecting people like the woman with a cat, a dog and an apartment on Nob Hill in San Francisco.  He said he lied about his age listing himself as in his forties instead of fifties.  Most couch surfers are younger than older.  In fact, the New Yorker guy pointed out that being old may limit your choices. There is actually a total of almost 4 million that belong to the network and only 793 are between the age of 80-90. Still the Bag Lady and her husband loved the experience so I am thinking it might be worth a shot.  See, I know now that a senior like me could couch surf too...if I wanted to.

Anyway, you should look into it.  Couch surfing may be your thing to do. I have never done it...I have a cat myself and a husband that snores. Oh and I am 70. That is a lot to overcome. I am going to think about it a bit more.  I will write the Bag Lady a note and see what she thinks!

Have a wonderful day.

b

Recommended articles:


Three Cushions and a Million Guests, Frugal Traveler
Staying with New Found Friends for a Fee, Frugal Traveler
40 Most Useful Travel Website...., Wise Bread
Your Welcome, couch surfing the globe!  The New Yorker

Related articles

• 10 Ways to Use CouchSurfing: A Multi-Tool for the Indie Traveler (bootsnall.com)
• Interview with Casey Fenton, CEO of CouchSurfing at DLD 2012 (blonde20.com)
• CouchSurfing Gets More Cash As Point Nine Capital Becomes Its First European Investor (eu.techcrunch.com)

Can you practice living alone?

My husband and I in Spain!

I didn't make the bed today.  My husband and I have been spending some time apart.  I flew home for the birth of our last grandchild and he chose to remain in Arizona for a little more time. We do this occasionally...it is a practice session for being alone.  He will be home tonight or tomorrow.

So I don't make the bed sometimes when I am alone...shoot me if you like! Today I needed to change the bed so I just washed the sheets.  They are laying on the bed in a heap. The sheets were dirty. That is my first excuse.  Then I wanted to do some yard work. As I raked up the last leaf I realized I need to go and buy some more coffee.  As I was driving to the grocery I remembered that I wanted to have sushi and my husband doesn't jump at that suggestion.  I shopped and then drove to the sushi restaurant.  It is a beautiful day so I drove home at a leisurely pace.

I still haven't made the bed.  I've taken a nap, cleaned up the dishes and put the yard debris in the bin.  There was even a walk and a glass of wine.

It is good practice.  But,  I do know that I don't like being alone, even though I can march to my own drummer.  If that is coming down the pike, it will take a lot of getting used to.  Even with practice, it will never feel right.

b

Which is better for Grandparents? How-to books or a sense of humor!

Baby Shay at 7 days old!

This is the last one!  As grandchildren go, she is just about the best last grandchild any grandmother could ever ask for.  She is relaxed, cute cuddly and 9 days old.  What could there possible be to worry about?  I can't think of one thing and I am not going to tempt the fates by reading any advice columns or books.  I may just shut myself in the house and not even talk to anyone.  It turns out that everyone book has a horror story and all grandparents are so proud of their offspring's offspring that I can never top their stories. I don't like advise books and other people's grandchildren if they are better than mine.  No, I am thinking about becoming a recluse!

I was reading a blog post from the Huffington Post today called New Grandparenting Books Offer Advice From Two Perspectives by Dr. Georgia Witkin's.  The blog author, Karin Kasdin, talked about how little time she had , how little patience she had with the how-to books and how she just didn't want to follow anyone's advice.  She likened the book to the daily news.  Every broadcast begins by wishing you a good evening and then proceeds to tell you why it's not.  I am with her.  I cannot even figure out why anyone would write such a book...all I have been doing for 20 years is what my children wanted me to do.  They are the responsible ones and I am the one that plays, makes cookies and giggles when my grandchildren poke me with their toes when we try to take a nap (which I need more than they do obviously.)

The only advice book I have looked at about being a good grandparent is the one written by Bryna Paston called How to Be the Perfect Grandma.  (I know, I have talked about this before.) Actually it is not so much a book full of advice as it is about the comedy of errors...she makes me laugh. Her advice is tongue in cheek but still lingers very near the truth.  For example, she advises that if things don't go right and the child gets a boo boo while you were perhaps taking a peek at your email, don't tell the truth. Blame it on the cat.  Lie a little.  If you tell the truth you will be sent directly to Grandmother prison and your children will whisper behind you back at family dinners.  Most boo boos cannot be seen anyway and a bandage is all that is needed in most cases.  In Paston's words "Never, ever, ever let anything bad happen to the kids on your watch.  If it does lie!"  Don't question her advice...just follow it.

So now I am grandmother to 12.  Our new granddaughter is a wonderful little soul.  Shay is what we call her.  Her brothers are  loving her so much but craving the attention of anyone that admires their baby sister.  It works for me.  They are spending time at my house drawing and making a mess.  The 4 years old drew his first picture of himself for me today and his little 2 year old brother wants to do the same.  Before long they will be telling me about the "pee hole in their underwear" and playing tricks on the kids at daycare...the same tricks their grandfather taught them.  They may even be sent home for playing grandpa's tricks.  We will laugh, not admit it is our fault and enjoy as many years as we can with these last grandchildren.

So given my choice I would have to say that having a sense of humor is by far the better than reading some psychiatrists serious humorless advice on grandparents and child rearing.  Laughter is the best medicine.  Please, just pay attention.  Your children, the parents of the children, will tell you how to do it.  Trust me!  I know!

Have a wonderful day.  And don't tell the truth unless someone has broken the law.  It just hurts people's feelings or gets you in trouble and why would we want do that?

b