Dying: The Subject We All Avoid

This lady was very old and could
barely walk but she put on all her jewelry
and traveled around the west. I was
 fascinated with her attitude.

Aging is not easy. Getting old is a frame of mind. Young people try to wrap their mind around what to do and what it is like but fail. Old people like to ignore it. It is the subject we all try to avoid but sooner or later must face...dying!

My husband and I lived in a RV Resort in the winter for many years. We and our friends gathered very much like college students to reconnect and party or dance or play golf. We laughed and had happy hour every night. It seemed that we lived so close that we wanted to yell "Good Night John Boy" when we went to bed.

It was a very happy time, all-be-it much too short. But it did have to come to an end.

Year before last my husband and I decided to leave the park and find a small home with families and children and traffic. We were not ready to live with ghosts.

Within that time almost everyone in our RV neighborhood was gone. Some did not return because of ill health or simply by choice. Some died...one friend committed suicide. One couple in their eighties divorced. Some, like ourselves, found a new place to visit in the winter.

But in the end, the reality was that our community of people was gone. New owners have moved in and not one original owner was left. The specter of the ghosts was too much for us.

In the end, our family members are
 our "real" friends. We count on them.

Aging is not easy but getting old is a frame of mind. You can move on if you are not ready to sit down and watch the world die around you.

And is is a subject not even I want to discuss. No candy glazing can change what reality is like. I miss those friends and neighborhood community.

I do need for you to know that I have good memories and my husband and I are continuing to grow and built new communities of friends. Many of our old friends remain close so that is good. We are happy.

Many of our friends are our children's age.
They are very important to us.

So, what do you feel about the way your life is going? Have you sat down to wait it out or are you going to make a few new beginnings?

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But what I love most of all is watching the
children take on the big tasks...like eating
the whole drumsticks in life.

AARP Listen up! Here is what I see!

I was in  the lab yesterday getting my blood drawn. My A1C has been creeping up and so we keep track of it.

While I was waiting for the tech, a beautiful straight tall lady walked in and sat in the chair opposite. I sized her up and judged her to be younger than myself by 10 years. I am 77. Imagine my surprise when she revealed that she was 81.

See this is not that unusual anymore. I am learning to figure it out. The definition for old is changing so rapidly it is amazing. The idea that people will work longer and be healthy for years more has become a reality.

It is those people that have "worked" and I mean "worked" at jobs lifting boxes, digging ditches and wearing out their bodies more in one day than someone like me did in my whole life that are breaking down. A bad back or worn hips, knees or even hands is coming back to haunt them.

The other trend that I am seeing and hearing about is medications issues. So many old people are telling me that the mistakes with meds is making them sicker that they really are. My neighbor was on medication to lower blood pressure...his blood pressure dropped so far he could not walk. Another med he was taking also was causing problems. An man at the golf course in Tucson....well you get the idea. I personally had to quit a statin because it was poisoning me.

I'm sure that AARP has some wonderful statistics about aging. I only know what I see in my life with around me. What has been your experience?

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I like the writing over at Aging in Place. This piece about the dangers of removing all risks was especially interesting.

Living in the Way Back Machine

It is never more apparent that during the Christmas Holidays that we live in the “Way Back Machine”. As we bring out the ornaments (fewer and fewer each year) it is occurring to us that we could sell those beautiful pieces of glass at an antique store to pay for a wonderful gift for everyone we know.

We probably should do that because each year a few more are broken. In fact, my family might be looking at that stuff and evaluating their worth.

Those things that my husband and I think of as “new” are very old now. When was that we bought those...was our youngest a sophomore in high school? It could be.

After the joyful season, we put it all away and the new parts of our lives emerge once again. I simply love the whole cycle of life that flows on around me.

Happy “way back machine” Season to you!

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How do things go at your house?

How to Find Christmas

Finding Christmas can be a very hard thing when you get...older. I remember one of my children’s friend experiencing that first time that he was asked what he wanted for his birthday and went shopping with his parents to get his hearts desire. It wasn’t until his birthday arrived that he realized that he knew what was in the package. There wasn’t going to be any surprise or anticipation. His thoughts were "Oh my gosh, are all the rest of my birthdays going to be like this?" That is what it is like when you get to be older.

We are now almost falling into the "very old" category. We do not need anything and in many cases ask that there be no presents. Then, like my son’s friend, we hate to think that all the rest of our Christmas’s will be like that. No surprises, no gifts...just another day. 

So, our family has taken up making Christmas about what Christmas should be about. Family, friends, children, beautiful lights and...yes indeed, presents for each other. We will play games, laugh and watch the children open their gifts and the adults will regift one gift to each other.

Finding Christmas will be fun this year. We are at home with our family and EVERYONE will be gathered together for a while. Wonderful!

Merry Christmas to you all. May your stocking be full of joy and happiness.

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When the Stolen Car is Not Important but the Thief Is

Our car was stolen...I wrote about that experience last week. Being the Pollyanna that I am. I know that in the scheme of things, losing your car is not that important. I was reminded of our many blessing and moved on. It was Thanksgiving, we had company coming and all the groceries were in our refrigerator. We live about a half a mile from a grocery so we were fine.

What were we going to do...what is, is! 

This had never happened to us before so we did not know what to worry about and maybe that was good thing. Again, what was done was done. Even now I am not sure what we did right and what we did wrong.

We called the police and filed a claim with our insurance electronically. That all seemed logical to us. The police part was fine but filing with the insurance on our computer was not. That was a bad idea because I believe now that our insurance agent would have taken better care of us and walked us through this process. Our computer and the company rep that called did not do that for us at all. Darn.

My husband began searching for a new car immediately (we only had the one car here in Tucson) and we made plans to shop. Eventually we settled on the Hertz resale place in Scottsdale, Az. With in a few days we rented a car so we could drive to the sales lot with a good idea of what we were going to buy.

Through all of those days we were in touch with the police still feeling hopeful that the car had not been driven into Mexico. But there had been no word so we plowed forward. (Our car insurance did not have rental car coverage and that was hot a good thing.) 

We found a car that we could afford and were sitting at the desk with the salesman when my cell phone rang...it was the Tucson police. I laid my pen down I had in my hand ready to sign for the car and listened as the officer explained to me that 1) they had our car, 2) it had been involved in a robbery and 3) we could pick it up on that day or the next. It was drivable although not undanaged, My husband and I looked at each other in disbelief...could the timing have been any odder? Really! 

We went ahead and bought the car. Our old car is 10 years old.

So we now own two cars in Arizona and another in Oregon. We now have two homes and three cars...unbelievable. 

Do things like this happened to other people? It seems that "yes" they do. Everyone I talk to in Tucson has had their car stolen. One friend had seen her stolen car being driven across the border in Nogales on TV. I am not kidding.

I have not been angry or unhappy the whole time. Then we found the drivers license of the young man that took the car under the front seat of our car. He is 18! Now that made me sad.

The way I look at it the car is nothing. I am fine. We don’t have to worry and we’re blessed with more that we need or even want. But a young person making choices like that may be beyond help. It is very sad. Darn.

How do you see it?

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I WANT YOU TO KNOW...I DIDN’T DO IT!

I have often told you that I am sure that I am guilty. If a policeman/woman shows up at our door and someone in the neighborhood has been injured, I assume that in some remote way I am to blame. It is kind of like those six point of separation we all have from Kevin Bacon.
See, the thing is, our can was stolen...from in front of our house...while we were sleeping. It was locked my husband says, the porch light was on and our neighborhood is lit like a circus tent. What the....!
I have no emotional response of fear, anger or remorse. I WAS NOT NEAR THE CAR AND I DID NOT EVEN DRIVE THE CAR THAT DAY. I DID NOT DO IT!
The car was old so it does not have a navigation device. But it does have an insurance company device that records our driving habits and it is now recording our thief’s driving. That person will not get the good driving reward of the year. Wow! In a strange sort of way it is interesting to follow that persons habits. We don’t know where it is but we can imagine that we do. The fact that the person gets up in the middle of the night and heads out to get into mischief is not reassuring for the city of Tucson.
We are well aware the Tucson is probably the car theft capital of the western world so we are not surprised at all. The police say they do find them but I don’t think I even want it back. The thought of a thief behind the wheel just creeps me out.
Thanksgiving was wonderful at our house in spite of it all. I hope it was the same for you.
Have you had anything stolen lately?

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Is It All in How You Look At It?

Today is my birthday...the day after the last day of being what I was last year or the first day of the rest of my life. In the end it really is all in how you look at it isn’t it.

Tomorrow is Election Day so every post on Facebook is about what tomorrow will mean for our country. Is it the first day of the beginning for our country or is it just one day closer to my next last day? Interesting isn’t it?

When my husband pointed out to me that it was my "last day" at dinner last night, I was shocked at the emotional response I had. See, I had never, never seen the passing of time in that light. For me the tomorrows were what life was all about...good or bad what happened next or as a result of what I did today what what mattered.

What lens are you using to see your life? 

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