Happy Valentine's Day?: Asparagus, it's only crazy if it doesn't work!

Valentine's Day is celebrated in many ways. Brits have their own twist on the holiday. What I loved about this infographic was the information on aphrodisiacs. Who knew that asparagus and garlic would do the trick?

This Valentine’s Day infographic was created by Warner Leisure Hotels – click here to view the original blog post.

Joel Comm says, " #Spam me....please!" I say, "Me too."

Business card or historic SPAM?
Brief History: Civil War Pensions: The business card of one of the many attorneys specializing in pension claims, circa 1895. SSA History Archives. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you are a blogger for business purposes or not, you know that leaving a connection in a comment to the place you work or write is risky business. I have always thought of it as leaving a business card. Others view it is SPAM! Wow! I suppose there is a very good reason for that but I am still a little puzzled about hiding out. Those of us that blog depend on our Google+ account or take the effort to leave a name and URL in the comment form. Honestly, I am not sure what we are hiding. The word recognition tool takes care of most of the computer generated spam anyway. I like the idea of making connections with the people that stop by to read. If I can help them, I am sure they will return the favor.

Post a guest article with me.
In the past I have charged for posts that had a business connection. I will probably continue to do that. My reasoning is simple. I have spent a lot of time building this blog's audience very like business people build a very good location to sell their goods. People that use that location by renting it pay for the effort put into developing the land, building, etc. A blog is like a virtual business building.

But for a little while I am inviting you to submit ideas relevant to my topic...living the third stage of life. Money, gifts, stories, travel, small space living, retirement lifestyle, grandparenting....send me the ideas for a guest blogger article and I will give you a shot at being a guest blogger. I will try to publish as many as possible free of charge. The property will remain your own...I am only displaying your product. I will allow you to post a link back to your online presence. It is that simple.

Spam Comments
I have changed the information on comments. Please leave a comment with a link to your website or business. Spam with a link to your business. All I ask is that you leave a thought relevant to the article and make it suitable for a child to read. Spam away as much as you want. I will erase anything that is not appropriate...just so you know. Some spam will go away if I think it does not fit.

All I am asking in return is for you to use Twitter to share my articles and post to your facebook account if it is appropriate. I would like for you to click the Google+ button too.

So there you have it...spam away people. Leave a comment, submit an article...use this blog for your very own purposes for a very short time. Let's have some fun!

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Note: I left a comment on a website today. This is what I said:

I have decided to open the door a crack. Spam has two sides. The computer generated stuff is invisible to me. I use word recognition for my comments and can delete any comments that simply do not fit.

However, if an online presence has something to say, I am all ears. Tell me who you are and link to your business or blog. The only caveat is that you make all comments tame enough that a child could read them without being tainted and that the comment be relevant to the article. We will see.

b

http://www.retireinstyleblog.com (smile) 

Website URL: The Wryter's Block

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Snowbird: How do I find a place to rent?

I received this question yesterday from a reader: 

It's wonderful to hear of other single travelers out there. How do you go about finding places to rent in different areas? 

Boy can I relate to this! I remember feeling like a babe in the woods when we first started out. My husband and I traveled across the county in a small class c motor home. We stayed in trailer parks, and RV resorts. In those days we carried a Good Sam Directory and depended on our very new cell phone to make reservations as we went along. I always dreamed of finding a 10-10-10 rated park. The rating assures quality, service and location. I was never disappointed. On that trip we only found one on our route. It was right here in Tucson.

A CROWD GATHERS...NO MATTER WHAT WE DO!

If you are thinking that a resort like the one we spend the winters in would work, I think the RV directories are a good place to start. Woodalls, CampUSA, Good Sam Club are well known and reputable. Amazon has a large selection available.You can, for example, go to Tucson in a directory, see what the resorts are and how they are rated. You can do the very same things for areas in Texas, Florida or any other state. Then you call the park and see if they have park models for rent. Most of the resorts do that very thing.

You have to understand that the reason I recommend an RV resort is because you will be immersed in the social life of the park immediately.  If I were single, that would be very important to me.

However, if you are not interested in something like this, you can find rental agencies that do nothing but rent to snowbirds. Here in Tucson we have an agency called Home Away that might work. Put snowbird rentals or RV resorts in (city of your choice) in the google search line and begin shopping.

I hope this has been helpful.  Any other questions?

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List of post on How to be a Snowbird here.

Snowbirds: Can I be a Snowbird if I'm Single?

I always thought when my husband and I retired we would be “snowbirds”.  Unfortunately, he died in Sept 2011.  I don’t know if it’s realistic to contemplate “snowbirding” as a single person. 

Do you think you could do it if you were on your own?

Marlene

Dear Marlene,

This is our parkmodel. We plant the flowers in the front.

I do love it when I get such a thought provoking question from a reader.  This is a question that all of us that are living the snowbird life with a spouse or companion ask ourselves. Would we or could we do this if we were alone? For me the answer would be a resounding yes. 

As with all the choice we make in this life, it is entirely up to the individual. But it is very possible and in fact a wonderful idea. My husband and I live in an RV resort in Tucson AZ for 3-6 months of the year. We have a home in the Portland, Oregon metro area. 

The resort is home to spaces for recreational vehicles and park models that are parked semi-permanently. My husband and I own a very small park model...12 x 35 feet. We rent the space where we are parked. Before we bought our current winter home, we lived in an RV for the winter months.  We find that we love the small space and simplicity that this life style brings. I think that this is the perfect answer for a person that is a single. It allows for privacy but provides activities for socializing. 

View from my compter desk.

We enjoy the snowbirding in a RV resort because it gives us a consistency of good friends and built in opportunities for the endless activities. AND many of our neighbors are living alone. But, because we are all family when we are here, they have a wonderful support group. 

Most of the single individuals living here have chosen this location because they know someone. They have family close by...a child, niece or brother. Some are here because they have friends from home or a large group of people their region of the USA or Canada. There are many that were here with their spouse/partner and keep coming back after they passed away. And there are those that have come here as a single and have found a wonderful life. We have both men and women singles and even have a singles group that meets in the park.

Our dances are very like a the dynamic you would find with teens. The dance floor fills with singles and couples for a large percentage of the time. Line dancing is very popular and lessons are available. 

People gather to bead, carve, quilt, yoga, work with silver or crafts and they even have had a group that were writing their biography for their family.  We have a weekly jam session for musicians and cards of every imaginable variety are played from morning to night.  MahJong is a great favorite and the group is growing. We also have a couple of pool tables.

Pickle ball and bocci ball are great favorites. Everyone is welcome. These are not couples activities even though some couples do participate with their spouses. The mix of men and women of all ages is very social and comforting for us all.

Bocci Ball Court

The opportunities for volunteering in the park help people learn their way around and give them a chance to get to know people. The possibilities include everything from cooking for events to guiding RV's to their parking space. You can do as much or as little as you want.

If a person is an early riser, the coffee room is the place for them.  Hot coffee, the newspaper and quiet conversation fill the space as early as 5:30 a.m. (I am told).

If I were a single and trying to decide if this were possible, I would rent in a park for a month or so.  Then I would make a decision based on my experience. Having a contact like me in a park can help. But the people in the offices at parks like this are friendly and helpful. They are the information gatherers/givers.  Our social director is very helpful as are the volunteers that work in her office.

So, in the end, the single person's decision is based on preference for location and financial consideration. RV resorts usually include park models that is available for rent by the park owners or individuals.  The family that owns Rincon Country have both an Eastside and Westside location. The Eastside location is near Pantano Wash, 1 mile from a golf course, near a library and close to shopping and restaurants. That is where we are located. Several of the parks are out of town a ways and are very self contained.

So Marlene, I hope this is a help. Let me know about other questions. Thank you for the contact. A list of snowbird articles from Retire In Style Blog can be found here.

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Figuring Out Life After Work - Advice from an EXPERT!

Finding new friends!

10 Things I Taught My Kids didn't sound like anything someone my age would find interesting. But I was wrong. Surprisingly it was something that fit into my day perfectly. In fact, I think we could all profit from the advice given by Huffington Post blogger Sharon Greenthal no matter our age. 

It struck a cord with me because it reminded me that it is not the big things that make a difference in our ability to figure out life at any age. She said funny things like "If you find a dress you like, buy it is 3 colors." or "Brownies go with everything". 

Tucked in between these two tidbits were more important things like "be kind to everyone, especially those that struggle" and "when you meet someone ask questions" (everyone likes to talk about themselves). But it was number two in the list that caught my eye. I could only think that she was talking to someone my age:

2. Go when you're invited. Unless it's something completely out of your comfort zone -- say, a wife-swapping party or a marathon viewing of Cameron Diaz films -- always accept an invitation. You never know who you'll meet or what will happen. This is especially true during the transition from college to young adulthood, when those built-in social networks may fall away.

Don't you think that if we were to substitute "transitioning from a job to retirement" for the "transitioning from college to young adulthood" the statement would ring true for you. Your built in social networks do fall away and I don't know any other way to find friendships than to just go out into the world and find them for yourself. And what better way to do that than to accept every invitation that is offered.

If you are one of those people that turn down invitations because they don't just quite fit what you really want to do or you may not like the food, you should rethink that notion. Especially if you are having trouble making friends. When you read Greenthal's post about doing things just because they are kind, you begin to think about how a no to an invitation might affect the person that invited you.  The idea that you are not only denying yourself the opportunity to meet people or have a new experience is one thing but the idea that you may also be hurting someone's feeling is another. Know one wants to be hurtful.

Your invitations are the other part of the equation too. The common theme here is kindness...I think you will find your new social network are born out of acts of generosity. Cookies for the new neighbor or even just smiling and speaking to everyone in your neighborhood might work for you. Take time for everyone you meet. Don't forget that you could be the one that is helping a newbie find their way in retirement or any other kind of change. You could be the one having Carmeron Diaz marathon!

Accept the next invitation no matter what, take a hostess gift because Greenthal says we should never go to a dinner/party empty handed. I don't encourage wife-swapping so don't do that. But have fun and let me know what happens.  You may just be surprised!

Thank you Sharon Greenthal.  You made my day.

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In addition to writing for Huffington Post, Sharon Greenthal writes a blog called Empty House, Full Mind.

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How Important is Your Hobby?

Many a golf widow will tell you that her husband loves golfing more than he does the family dog or even the wife herself. It is a given. Honestly I know because my husband loves to golf. It took some getting used to.

The Family Dog
Photograph (a favorite hobby) by b+
iphone5 

So the question is "Should a couple curb their enthusiasm for a hobby that takes them away from one another a great deal of the time?" If you have ever gotten that feeling of obsession for a new interest, you know what I am talking about. Reining yourself in can be very difficult. I for one find myself looking at the person talking to me, nodding my head but thinking about something else. In my experience, that person will catch on to what you are doing sooner or later.

I am always thinking that I should rein it in when I find a new interest. But the reality is I don't. I have spent a lot of time on multimedia art, poetry, writing fiction and learning to golf. I am a reader that does not hear a thing when I am engrossed in a book. Each one of these took up physical time during the day but also kept my mind at work even when I was talking to another person. Is that bad?

There are different ways of looking at it.  Hobbies are very important to me in so many ways. They fullfill a creative need and I don't think I would be very interesting if I were not busy mentally. I might even be dull if I reined in it too much. In the end, being creative is important for my mind and emotional well being. I just need to fit other people into the cracks. I am getting better at it.

My husband and I share a huge part of our life. But, as a matter of necessity, we also have very different interests. We are happy with the way we live together. We are very lucky. We don't moan...any more. I guess we just grew up and learned to play/live together in a way that satisfies us both. That is a good thing.

 Just a thought!

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Note: Other posts about hobbies!

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My Grandchild asked: Why didn't you tell me about etiquette?

My twenty-something granddaughter told me at Christmastime she had asked her mom why she didn't know anything about etiquette. That was the when I began thinking about the subject. The dictionary defines etiquette as the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life. In this day and age good breeding is not a term we use at all but good upbringing might work in that case. In the case of manners I have always thought the manners were the behavior that resulted from the knowledge of etiquette. I am not sure the dictionary would agree. Oh well!

I asked a group of my friends last night what they had been taught when they were young that would have passed as instructions in the art of etiquette in their daily life. I was surprised at what we all had in common. We were not raised in the same part of our country and some were from cities and other's from very small communities. Still it was all very much the same.

Does this table setting scare you? It did me
when I was younger. Secret: Start
at the outside and work your way in.

• Don't wear white after Labor Day. (My mother would not let me wear purple because ladies of the evening wore that color. That probably applied to showing too much cleavage or wearing a very short skirt.)
• Always put on clean underwear before going out in public. (You might get in a accident or something.)
• Don't reach across the table. Say "please pass the_____" 
• When you do reach across the dinner table always keep your feet on the floor. (Hence the famous boarding house reach.)
• Don't sing at the table.
• Don't talk with your mouth full.
• Men shake hands...women demur.
• Stand/sit up straight.
• Dress up when you go to church. 
• Always say excuse me when you walk in front of another person. (My second grade teacher demanded this one.)
• When you set the table for dining, the knife always lays with the blade toward the plate. (A high school English teacher.)
• Never separate the salt and pepper shakers...pass them together. (College dorm formal dining.)
• Do not begin dining until everyone at the table is served and the hostess picks up her utensils. (College)
• Pass the food from left to right. (College)
• Do on put your left hand on the table. Keep it in your lap if you are not using it.  
• Ask to be excused from the table. (Never say your are going to the rest room.)
• Thank you notes are necessary if you don't see the person to thank them personally. (It was just our way.)
• Men do not wear a hat, baseball cap or stocking had in the house. (Does that still apply?)
• Shoes should always be shiny...people judge you by your shoes. (My mother thought this was important.)
• Men open doors for ladies...that included car doors as well as entrances to a building.
• Chewing gum was not ladies like.
• We did not apply our lipstick, powder or comb our hair in public.

But in this day and age things are a little different. I for one abandoned a lot of the social graces during the women's liberation era because I was perfectly capable of opening my own door, etc. I regret that now because it really was such a nice gentle act of kindness on the mans part. Maybe we can bring back some of our old habits and enjoy those small kindnesses again.

What's Cooking in America had the best information on dining I have seen in a long time. I have printed this off so I can share it. It is called United States Dining Etiquette Guide. You should also check out 8 Basic Etiquette Rules. I think you will surprised at how many of those old rules of etiquette I listed are still valid. It was fun for me to compare the old and the new.

In today's society a small return to social graces is a welcome change. If the young people ask, we know they are concerned. Give it some thought and even share what you consider to be important. For example, maybe you are wondering about the thank you note. Do you have an opinion? What do you think about electronic devices at family gathers? What about cell phone etiquette? Let me know.

Just a thought.

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Note: I saw this article on interview etiquette that I thought might be pertinent:

Your shoes should be moderate and you should avoid extreme hairstyles or colors. Also, keep makeup and perfume to a minimum. No jeans or shorts, no tank tops, crop tops, or anything especially low cut (shirt or pants) or too short (skirt or blouse) - keeping everything professional is a must.

Amazon has a book listed called Where IS Your Mother?: A Simple and Suggestive Guide to Basic Etiquette and Simple Grace.  I am going to order it. It just seems that I need to brush up on my manners sometimes. 

It is just a thought.

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