#Agism: @FabOverFifty's Geri Brin's Vision of Aging made me feel ill!

Is there a law against discriminating on the basis of age?  I can't remember. I am thinking this morning that there is no way to control what people think about aging but there needs to be some self-control when it come to writing about it. See I know that being old is not a handicap nor a disease that can be avoided by being clean or eating right. It is a reality that we will all face sooner or later...I for one am hoping to actually live to be old and wise.

So when I read When I'm 84!, a blog post on Fab Over Fifty, I wanted to say "Did the founder of FOF really write and post this?". 


FOF is a website created and is now edited by the 64+ year old Geri Brin. As part of her responsibility on the website, Brin writes Geri's Blog.  The blog is not unlike any of our blogs.  It is suppose to reveal what is going on inside the head of the writer.  She is a very successful business woman.  She says in her short bio....

....I also wrote for publications such as New York Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Harper’s Bazaar, Town & Country, Parents Magazine,the New York Daily News Magazine and daily paper, and co-authored two books, Kid's Stuff and Figure It Out! I became an entrepreneur in 1998 and published magazines for Liz Claiborne and Charming Shoppes, and launched Bene, a magazine about Italian Life and Style that garnered a silver Folio Award. 

My blog is about what I'm doing and thinking, and gets pretty personal at times. It's about FOFs I meet all over the place. It's about my take on current events and people as well as on things that happened "back in the day." I never plot and plan what I'm going to write. I'm a pretty off-the-cuff FOF. 

Those of us that live in the real world are impressed by this sort of resume and admire such an accomplished women.  I have commented several times on her blog and followed her sporadically over the last couple of years.  I even bought a FOF membership once so I could try out new beauty products.  After applying for a "guru" status I was accepted but never really did anything with it.

These were the images she included in the blog post!

Then Geri wrote the blog post that stopped me in my tracks.  When I'm 84! painted the view she had of old people and how they behave. I cringed because I wondered if that is what people would think of me. I am 71+  She created a list of things she did not want to do when she was 84.  It included things like:

• Have three hairs on my head and no desire to do anything about it,
• Have a crotchety disposition,
• Wear makeup that looks like a two-year old applied it,
• Have a tummy that makes me look like I’m the oldest living pregnant woman in the history of the world,

AND

• Stand at a supermarket, drug store, or any other checkout counter and keep the whole line waiting while I figure out where my money is.

I am trying to understand how she came to a place where she did not understand that saying these things out loud could offend people. Being old is something that we cannot change. 


I think that those of us that might be lucky enough to live to the grand old age of 84, still shop all be it slowly, have any hair left and make the effort to apply makeup can safely say that Geri needs to get out more.  She needs to spend some time with active old people and understand that a lot of what happens to us is not a choice. 


No amount of Pilate's or vegetarian diet can change the fact that 84 or 90 is a different stage in our lives and not so much about our protruding tummies as it is about what goes on inside our heads. Some old people value their appearance and some do not!  

Now this is where the isolation of the elderly is leaving society with a skewed vision of what aging is all about. The boomer generation is under the misconception that they will somehow not get old.  I guess I am begging people like Geri or all of my Studio30 Plus friends to stop and think about what they are saying.  If you are person of influence, think for a minute and realize that what you write about can be very hurtful. That is called being respectful. Ridicule does not work.

Please add this to Twitter, Linkedin or any other social media you subscribe to.  The discussion need to be carried forward. And, if you have any suggestions for what Geri or anyone like her could do in the situations she listed that might help others,  please leave a comment.

b  

Related articles

• Agism: Will all the ignorami or ignoramuses stand up?(retireinstyleblog.com)

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• Reinvention for Women Age 50+(retireinstyleblog.com)

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• Aging: The Gardening Stage(retireinstyleblog.com)

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Leather Fringe in IN! My nine year old granddaughter is a trend setter!

 FRINGE IS IN!  

Vintage leather jackets are even better.  

How do I know?  Well my 9 year old granddaughter told me so and I think she is probably right.  The minute I saw her denim leather fringed jacket I wanted one just like. I need to go shopping!


I buy my blue jeans at the farm store just down the road and I am sure they will have leather fringed jackets. I live in the Portland, Oregon metro area.  You can take a country girl to the city but you never get the country out of the girl...especially if "country" is in style.  And, like I said, fringe is in...but then hasn't is always been so?


I want some leather fringe...what more can I say!


b

Boyfriend Trucker Jacket by top Ralph Lauren

(Take a look at this ad...you will love her boots too.)

Retirement: Don't Count on Me (Your Parents)...I am NOT a retirement plan!

Okay here is the deal...I am retired and have been for 15+ years. My husband and I are doing just fine. Our health is good (sorta), we are financially sound, have very good insurance and a successful loving family. Yup...we are doing juuuuuusssst fine!

But if my children are counting on what they inherit from us for their retirement, that will not work. The average amount most parents plan on leaving for their family is around $100,000.  That would work out to $33,000 per child in my family.  We are not dying anytime soon so who knows what will be left in the end. But even if we were average, you cannot retire with only $33,000 in your retirement plan. It will not work.  In an article in the Wall Street Journal the advise was don't count on money from the parents:

For years now, there's been a lot of talk about boomers getting tremendous windfalls as their parents pass on. Many boomers, in fact, have been lagging behind in their savings, betting on—hoping for—big bequests, especially since many of them suffered big losses in 2008. WSJ, June 11, 2012

As it turns out, we parents suffered a hit too in 2008.  We are living longer so our children won't be getting the inheritance in time to make hay from what they may receive. It is not looking good for you if your are thinking that we (the parents) are going to leave you set for retirement. So I am here to say you cannot count on us. 

Just a thought!

b

Link:  When Your Retirement Plan Depends on Your Parents Dying,  Graceful Retirement

Myths and Realities of a Reverse Mortgage

The following article was sent to me by Reverse.Org and I am publishing it as information. I do not endorse reverse mortgages or any type of mortgage plan for that matter. I just think that being informed is the only way to go. I did not receive any financial consideration for publishing this.

I was actually surprised at the way it works.  b

Myths and Realities of a Reverse Mortgage

As with many financial products, reverse mortgage loans can be complicated and there may be a number of misconceptions about how the product works.

A reverse mortgage is a loan available for homeowners aged 62 and over. It  allows you to access a portion of the equity you’ve built in your home.  The loan proceeds can be used for a variety of expenses including car repairs, medical expenses, travel, debt, home improvements etc. 

Reverse mortgage loans are insured by the Federal Housing Administration (FHA), and are different from other types of mortgage loans because the borrower uses the loan proceeds to pay off any existing mortgage and does not make monthly mortgage payments.  

So what are the other myths vs. the realities?

• Myth No. 1: The lender owns the home.You will retain the title and ownership during the life of the loan, and you can sell your home at any time. The loan will not become due as long as you continue to meet loan obligations such as living in the home, maintaining the home according to the Federal Housing Administration requirements, and paying property taxes and homeowners insurance.
• Myth No. 2: The home must be free and clear of any existing mortgages. Actually, many borrowers use the reverse mortgage loan to pay off an existing mortgage and eliminate monthly mortgage payments.
• Myth No. 3: Once loan proceeds are received, you pay taxes on them.Reverse mortgage loan proceeds are tax-free as it is not considered income. However, it is recommended that you consult your financial advisor and appropriate government agencies for any effect on taxes or government benefits
• Myth No. 4: The borrower is restricted on how to use the loan proceeds. The cash proceeds from the reverse mortgage loan can be used for any reason. Many borrowers use it to supplement their retirement income, delay receiving social security benefits, pay off debt, pay for medical expenses, remodel their home, or help their adult children. You’ve worked hard for this asset and prudence along with budgeting should be the proper approach to enjoying proceeds received from your reverse mortgage.
• Myth No. 5: Only poor people need reverse mortgages.  The perception of the reverse mortgage as an assist for the “poor” borrower is changing - many affluent senior borrowers with multi-million dollar homes and healthy retirement assets are using reverse mortgage loans as part of their financial and estate planning, and are working closely in conjunction with financial professionals and estate attorneys to enhance the overall quality and enjoyment of life.

For more information on reverse mortgages feel free to visit the site reverse.org.

© 2012 Genworth Financial Home Equity Access, Inc. 10951 White Rock Road, Suite 200, Rancho Cordova, CA 95670. NMLS # 3313, (800) 218-1415 or (916) 636-0183. AK #AK3313, AZ #BK-0908847.  

For a complete list of licensing information visit: genworth.com/reverse/licenses

Sapa Vietnam, Sony #Cameras, #NYT Traveling more Fluently Article

Camera Travel Virus
Travel has been on my mind this morning.  The arrival of my new camera is making my feet itchy...it is a Camera travel virus....strange but true.

Now I wish I had owned my beautiful Sony NEX-5N camera when we went to Sapa,Vietnam...(read more) last winter. I think I would have come home with better pictures and more possibilities.  Here is a picture we took on the trail to Cat Cat Village last December.  They have been edited using iphoto and Snapseed.

Could I have done better before I downloaded the photo with the new camera?  Maybe.

Bottom of the trail to Cat Cat Village. Taken with my husbands Nikon, unedited.
I wonder how this would have looked using the black/white with only
the red showing.  Or how about more vibrant colors?  I set the camera to do that before I shoot.

This version was edited on my iphoto program using my
Mac.  

This one was edited using am application called Snapseed.  This
has been changed using a grunge setting, edge blur and frames.

Now I have added the Sony to my bag of tricks. I have discovered that professional photographers may be cheating just a little...it is amazing!

Link:  TripAdvisor reviews
Frommers Packing List (great!)

Free Language Programs
I saw an article in the NYT called Paths to a More Fluent Vacation recommending 10 language programs...five for those of us that like free and five for people with deep pockets.  I didn't see any that taught any of the languages spoken in Vietnam.  I could have used that when we were in the country last December. But if you are going to Europe or Japan there are some that might be very helpful.

I wanted to learn a little of the H'mong language but the truth is the people could speak such good English in Sapa.  The first woman that began talking to me in perfect English surprised me.  I am sure I looked puzzled.

It turns out that in that part of Vietnam that is at the eastern end of the Himalayas there are still schools teaching English to the hill tribes.  I don't know if that is a left over from the Vietnam war. I am told that the American used the H'mong people as spies.

Have a wonderful day.  Let me know if you have any questions by leaving a comment.

b

I would like it if you would beam me up to twitter.com or to your Facebook account.  Thanks.
Become a follower if you are not one already.  I like that a lot!

Gossiping about: When will YOU retire? Infographic

I am not a financial expert but I have worked with people that gossiped about their retirement options.  I cannot tell you how many times I was asked, "When will you retire?" Then they would want to know what I had heard about the company retirement plan...like I actually knew!  

Here is what I think; they should have asked someone that has the correct answers. I could not help them with their retirement plan.

I received the Infographic from Lemon.com the other day.  Kelsey sends these to me once in a while. This is what she said:

From:  Kelsey Cox

Hey Barbara, 

Hope you had a great weekend. I wanted to send along another graphic I thought your Retire in Style readers would be interested in. The graphic, based on Gallup's Economy and Personal Finance poll, examines when today's workforce plans to retire, and some tips to ensure a comfortable retirement. 

Take a look and let me know what you think. Thanks Barbara!

Infographic: When Will You Retire?

Click here for large view:  http://lemon.com/blog/infographic-2/when-will-you-retire/

Preview:

Best,
Kelsey

 I liked the final four items on Inforgraphic.  This is such good common sense stuff.

From Lemon.com: http://lemon.com/blog/infographic-2/when-will-you-retire/

1. Know your numbers. Retirement planning calculators can tell you what you should be saving.
2. Max out your IRA/401(k) contributions.
3. Automate your savings.
4. Learn about your employer's pension plan.
5. Don't overestimate Social Security. This plan will give you, at best, 40% of your pre-retirement income.

But I want you to focus on #4. Learn about your employer's pension plan. Do you gossip around the water cooler or in the coffee room about retirement? When was the last time you hear people talking about their savings or IRA/401k contributions and thought "I really should be doing more"? 

Listen to me now...talk to your human resources person and get some more information about your company plan. They may even guide you to another person that can give you some advice about the rest of the plan. Really, the people in the coffee room are not experts even if you are working for a company that deals in that sort of thing. Your local gossip is not a good person to go to when looking for your retirement plan!

Click on the link and look at the whole page.  

Have a wonderful day!

b

If this information is helpful beam me up to twitter.com.

Scholls, Oregon: It's berry season...the best day trip you can make!

Teen granddaughter and 4 little grandchildren
My life is SOOOOO good!

The parents looked a little askance at me when I said I was taking the boys to the blue berry patch. The trip involved moving the car seats from their car to mine and then it involved me actually buckling them into the car seats when we got ready to leave. I know it seemed unlikely that I could actually do that. Those car seats are so maddeningly impossible!

Then there was the question about whether the boys would be able to indure time in the sun, walking a long ways and avoiding the thorny black berries that grew in the the blue berry garden.  Were those little people durable enough to do that very thing?  Well, it turns out the answer is yes.  They can pick berries, walk a long ways, and come home with only a few spots of sunburn on the places we missed with the spray on lotion. It turned out they might be better at picking black berries than I am.  The bucket of "blue blues" were the best toy they had ever had.  They pretended to pick and counted the good ones, imagined there were bugs in the bottom. All that good guy stuff.   All in all I would not hesitate to take those little guys anywhere.

Now we get to the part where I got them buckled in...this country girl was not raised to be dumb.  My daughter came along with the two little girl grandchildren. She could buckle an alligator in...she makes me so proud.

It was fun so I just thought I would let you know...it is Blue Berry season in Oregon!

b

The berry patch we went to is just east of Scholls.  There is off road parking and the business will sell you buckets if you don't bring your own.  A flat of Rasberries is $25.00.  The flat is full to over
flowing!

There is a little restaurant in an old hotel at the right in Scholls...remember this little place is just a wide place in the road.   There is a nursery just across the road that had beautiful plants and baskets.  You should go because it is a beautiful drive.

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