Believe me… everyone around you is sick of hearing it. You are sick of hearing it! Pink Lilli - Bad Gramma
I need to have cards printed and give them to my children/friends. The cards will say You Already Told Me That. They can simply hold them up at the appropriate moment and I will shut up. While I do have a wealth of good stories, they are not infinite...not at all. Therein lies the problem.I was reading a blog from Midlife Women recently about letting go of our victim stories. I am gathering that I am not the only one that seems to retell stories. And, as I thought about it, it turns out two of those much repeated stories are victim stories. Why is that? Does it make me feel sanctimonious or even superior? Maybe.
Honestly...no I mean honestly, I really have only two victim stories that I can talk about. That is all I have ever experience or noticed in my whole life. It could be that that is very remarkable. I have told and retold those stories until I have made people want to run and hide. It is a fact that even a very close family member can work up any outrage for your tale of woe after so many years.
The writer of that article said that there has to be a reason. Otherwise why would we hang onto those things. Does it give us permission to dislike or dismiss a person you already dislike or have dismissed...does that story make it ok?
In truth most of our stories don't involve the loss of anything that is very valuable. The fact that we hold it close to our heart is not good for that heart or the heart of those around us. I for one am taking a good hard look at my behavior. After all, I am a grandmother that tries to set a good example. This is the beginning of a new chapter.
So, do you have a victim story that you repeat over and over? How many? Do you gather victim stories because they get you attention? How does it make you feel when you tell them? If so, how are you going to change that so your life does not revolve around those events?
What do you think?
b+
This is an interesting topic. I don't believe I repeat experiences where I felt I was the victim. I don't find it healthy to dwell on things I can't change. It's easy for me to grumble about something that annoys me but that's much different than feeling a victim. I also think that the situations that I felt a victim the other person may have been feeling the same way. Its amazing how each person interprets situations differently. Also I grew up in a family that would fake play the violin whenever one would complain. That kind of took the fun out of playing the victim.
ReplyDeleteYou were a very lucky person. Keep being who you are!
DeleteI only have a couple victim stories but I have never shared them with anyone and I try to never think about them. My husband, on the other hand LOVES to play the victim and share his victim stories all the time. It's one of the reasons I tune him out as soon as I hear his voice. I have no idea why he does this but I know I hate it and have zero respect for it.
ReplyDeleteI don't even imagine that he knows he is doing it or maybe how much it bothers you. Old habits are very hard to break...I am an expert!
Delete