My son and his family left this morning to go back home. They were staying in their condo close-by for a month so we spent a lot of time together. July is the month of a rejoining in our family. For almost 25 years I have been watching 12 grandchildren grow and change.
Because we only see his two girls once a year, we notice the growing more noticeably. In my mind I mark the march of time.
This year their youngest child is 8 (almost 9) going on 13 (like her sister). She is tall, physically strong and above all articulate and a great reader. But...she is 8 (almost 9)...not older, not younger, just 8 (almost 9)! Why do I say that even though she looks older?
Well, here is the deal. Her real age is related to her emotional development. She responds and truly acts like an 8 (almost 9) year old. She wants to say she is older but I am not buying it!
We had a big celebration because the oldest, Maddie, turned 13 this year and this is the first time we have ever celebrated a real birthday with her. Birthdays are on my mind.
So when I was sitting at breakfast in a restaurant when someone at a table near me was revealing that it was their birthday I paid attention.
Today is my birthday. I just turned 50, she said.
Well, another added, I am not 50 and I am so glad.
How old are you then? asked the first.
I wouldn't be surprised if that lady didn't want to lie about her age just like Meelie but she didn't. She was quite a lot older than 50.
However, in the end it would not have mattered what the woman said. The answer would have been the same...Oh my goodness, you don't look XX years old!
That one just keeps coming up over and over...you don't look XX years old!
The person receiving the so called compliment really wants to ask how old they do look. Older? Younger? Shorter? What????
It was at that moment that I began to understand why people, especially women, lie about their age or simply never tell. It is just too hard to have the conversation and like me, no one ever knows what they should say.
I have heard my husband invite people to guess his age...that one came back and bit him and I have never heard him ask again.
See, in the end it doesn't really matter what the number is or how old you look. What does matter is how your emotional development is coming along. It matters what age you are in your mind or in Meelie's case, how long you can sit still!
In the end, we can fool some of the people part of the time but not all of the people all of the time. So, instead of trying to fool them (and ourselves), why not just keep them guessing? I think I am going to try it.
Do you reveal your age?
b+
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| Meelie, Age 4 or 5 |
This year their youngest child is 8 (almost 9) going on 13 (like her sister). She is tall, physically strong and above all articulate and a great reader. But...she is 8 (almost 9)...not older, not younger, just 8 (almost 9)! Why do I say that even though she looks older?
Well, here is the deal. Her real age is related to her emotional development. She responds and truly acts like an 8 (almost 9) year old. She wants to say she is older but I am not buying it!
We had a big celebration because the oldest, Maddie, turned 13 this year and this is the first time we have ever celebrated a real birthday with her. Birthdays are on my mind.
So when I was sitting at breakfast in a restaurant when someone at a table near me was revealing that it was their birthday I paid attention.
Today is my birthday. I just turned 50, she said.
Well, another added, I am not 50 and I am so glad.
How old are you then? asked the first.
 |
| Age 8 (almost 9) |
However, in the end it would not have mattered what the woman said. The answer would have been the same...Oh my goodness, you don't look XX years old!
That one just keeps coming up over and over...you don't look XX years old!
The person receiving the so called compliment really wants to ask how old they do look. Older? Younger? Shorter? What????
It was at that moment that I began to understand why people, especially women, lie about their age or simply never tell. It is just too hard to have the conversation and like me, no one ever knows what they should say.
I have heard my husband invite people to guess his age...that one came back and bit him and I have never heard him ask again.
See, in the end it doesn't really matter what the number is or how old you look. What does matter is how your emotional development is coming along. It matters what age you are in your mind or in Meelie's case, how long you can sit still!
In the end, we can fool some of the people part of the time but not all of the people all of the time. So, instead of trying to fool them (and ourselves), why not just keep them guessing? I think I am going to try it.
Do you reveal your age?
b+
I don't mind giving my age if asked. It's funny; my mother who is 86 loves to brag about her age. She will say something like "I am ALMOST 87!!! I guess after a certain age you want to brag that you lived that long :-)
ReplyDeleteIsn't that wonderful? I have never hesitated to tell my age and will even volunteer it in many cases. But I am not going to do that anymore. Why? Because I don't like to be told that I look younger than I am. That bothers me for some reason. I is faint praise I guess.
DeleteBe well Carole.
I do reveal my age, if not in reply to inquiry then in appearance. I have aged every minute of 100 --I mean 66-- years and am hoping to keep doing so. No one has yet commented on how well-preserved I am. Would you please?
ReplyDeleteYes! You look great for your age George! Really!
DeleteI share my age if asked, especially since I retired, I don't mind telling.
ReplyDeleteTerra, I have always had to calculate how old I was. Even when I told my age, I was seldom off a year. My birthday is in November. :)
DeleteHa! I have always aged myself up! I am 59 now but I say I am 60. I have always done that. I think it is a way of psyching myself up so that when I get to the next age it isn't a shock. LOL. It's not so people will say I don't look 60 (they don't say that, by the way) it is just my way of getting myself ready. People rarely come right out and ask my age -- in the South - that is still one of those questions you "just don't ask". Doesn't bother me tho. I am proud of my 60 years on planet Earth!
ReplyDeleteThe thing is I began telling my age when I needed people to listen to my advice and my age worked for me. I did not age young and looked younger than I was. Strange how life changes! You should be. Life is a precious gift I think.
DeleteI understand getting to the point where you are proud you made it this far! If anyone asks, I tell them I am 73 and a half! :-)
ReplyDeleteYes, we need to get in all those months. You made me laugh DJan.
DeleteAh, we are vain,and worried and hanging on to what we we got. A nurse revealed to me, her patient, that I looked good for my age, 74, and I replied, thanks, I take care of myself. Dumb answer. I should have said, you should see how good I look when I'm not sick.
ReplyDeleteSee? That is what I am talking about.
DeleteI never can remember how old I am. After 21, it did not seem to matter. Now my grandson keeps track for me. He was born one day before my 50th birthday!
ReplyDeleteI knew those grandchildren would come in handy one day! I had a fellow teacher that did that for me!
ReplyDeleteI never discussed my age in the workplace. I was definitely the oldest one in my office and didn't want to experience age discrimination--or be treated like the office grannie. Now that I'm working from home, I tell anyone who asks (few do) and even volunteer my age when appropriate. Funny thing: never with my former colleagues.
ReplyDeleteThat is so true...we feel younger or older depending on who we are with. And some just don't NEED to know!
DeleteI love this post! Yes, I've always revealed my age, no hesitation, but I'm not sure I want to continue this practice. It remember my grandmother telling me it wasn't good manners not to ask a lady her age. Perhaps I'll say that in return. LOL!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I cannot remember the last time someone asked my age! I hadn't even thought about that so I have no idea what I would say...none of your bees wax?
Delete